I was at my office Saturday for a few hours of focused work. Summer weekends find the office building, with it’s power saving partially lit hallways, in relative peace. Customarily no support staff work on weekends. There’s an open second floor library with a lone librarian, and one lobby/desk security person. I came across only a random analyst, activist, and attorney. One of these weekend warriors mistook me for the person who retrieves information from the library and copies it for him. I wasn’t sure what those people were called, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t “cooper”, and I told him so.
Having been informed of his mistake, the offender admitted to having had doubts, especially upon noticing I was wearing Yoga pants, something he “doubted support staff would dare do, even on a weekend”. He babbled trivialities. I contemplated how creepy/odd it was that he knew what I was wearing were “Yoga” pants, and that he had looked close enough, in such a dimly lit corridor, to ascertain that to be the case.
Some time later, while diligently reviewing research for regional environmental initiatives, there was a knock on my office door. It was the I know you are wearing Yoga pants guy. Appearing relatively innocuous, he presented me with my favorite Café con leche, then quickly departed. The apparent innocence of the act notwithstanding, an inauspicious ambiance entered with him, and lingered momentarily upon his exit.
As Poe is my witness, this man had brought me my signature drink from a small Cuban cafe close to my residence, a cafe I patronize with distinct regularity. This cafe is a significant distance from our office — by beverage acquiring standards anyway. It’s unlikely that someone without previous stalking tenancies toward me would be likely to know I favored the refreshment or the establishment. It bothered me that this stranger (and believe me, I’ve never noticed this khaki clad cross between Chad Lowe and Tucker Carlson before), would bring me a drink I loved, from a place I frequent; far worse, that he did this on a Saturday in a predominantly empty office building. This was far too Play Misty For Me, for me.
My work day was shot. I couldn’t concentrate. I had to get out of the building. Coincidentally, this man left at the same time.
I don’t know why I’m telling you this. This irrational paranoia is likely the result of my preadolescence foray into Lovecraft, King, Jackson and Bradbury. Some had warned against taking that path prematurely, but as they say “Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn“[1].
On a related but somewhat lighter note:
During polite dinner conversation Every Breath You Take is often designated the number one stalker song of all time. We all have our secret favorites though. In contention for me is Run For Your Life, an old Beatles tune sent to me repeatedly by a loose canon of a boyfriend after we went our separate ways.
In the end it’s about connotations. Anyone who recalls the late, great, Dennis Hopper’s character in Blue Velvet, and the “candy colored clown” scene, with Dean Stockwell as the theatrically inclined, “In Dreams” crooning Ben (replete with vile predilections), will have a strong stalker association when hearing Roy Orbison’s In Dreams.
What’s your favorite stalker song?
[1] Delmore Shwartz, Calmly We Walk Through This April’s Day

