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Posts Tagged ‘New York Times’

Welcome To The (Word) Jungle

Friday, August 14th, 2009

What follows is a jun­gle of words woven from  — in my head — notes for future blogs posts. Rarely laco­nic, this post might be stretching it, even for me. I wrote in it a cof­fee shop this after­noon while wai­ting for a friend. Be gentle.

Notes: ugly hap­pens, com­plaints about not being able to have a dog, NYT list of most loo­ked up words.

It’s far sim­pler to use the words from the NYT list than to write about the list. There are many posts, searcha­ble via Goo­gle, about the merits of the words. Ins­tead I incor­po­ra­ted, good or bad, many of the words into a pre­con­cei­ved post. I think I mana­ged 37 out of 50. The list is here in pdf —->baf­fling­words.

I some­ti­mes wish I was Elle Woods from the bil­dungs­ro­man, Legally Blond. Not because I woke up this mor­ning, loo­ked in the mirror, shrie­ked at the louche indi­vi­dual pee­ring back, and run­ning late with no time for a fix, shrug­ged my shoul­ders and mut­te­red to myself uncon­vin­cingly “ugly hap­pens”. No, it wasn’t that.

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I’ve been enviously peru­sing pic­tu­res of dogs belon­ging my con­tem­po­ra­ries over at the 20 something forum. I love dogs, and con­tem­pla­ted get­ting one some time ago. Currently my fish are the ersatz for what I really desire. My fealty to my swim­ming pets is real, but these two crea­tu­res are not fun­gi­ble. Fish live a banal life, and their life mimics their enter­tain­ment and com­pa­nionship value. I receive neither love or gra­ti­tude from my fish, and I don’t love them. My dog, well that was a dif­fe­rent story.

The lack of a canine is for penury of time not will. I’ve yet to figure out how peo­ple who work, or work and go to school, manage to have dogs. My old dog, though she tra­ve­led around the word, caged and qua­ran­ti­ned as we moved from place to place, was very accom­mo­da­ting, but she requi­red a lot of atten­tion and could not be left alone for long periods of time. Though not peri­pa­te­tic, I’m not home for exten­ded periods of time. I’m behol­den to analy­zing and eva­lua­ting Sisyphean policy and sump­tuary rules, fre­quent din­ners out, and days away for outside endea­vors. A com­pro­mise is not pos­si­ble at this time, pre­sen­ting an ener­va­ting cir­cums­tance for a dog.

I envi­sion myself the main cha­rac­ter in an Elle Woods sce­na­rio. In sar­to­rial ele­gance I carry a large Louis Vuit­ton to class. In my bag, one of many appur­te­nan­ces, a mini dog.

Suf­fe­ring apo­plec­tic looks from satur­nine PhD’s, my pro­fli­gacy unfor­gi­ven, a label of “solip­sis­tic atti­tude” quickly writ­ten in some fol­der with my name on it, and my fec­kless­ness assu­med, I’d sur­vive. I’d endure the face off with the dauphins of aca­de­mia. The situa­tion would be par­lous for a gra­duate stu­dent, but mana­gea­ble. It’s the paroxysms of laugh­ter I would face from peers, as the recon­dite stu­dent, the abs­truse young women, that would bother me most. In addi­tion, the scha­den­freude, espe­cially of those with no inc­li­na­tion toward me, would be hard to tolerate.

Bet­ter a bonobo to my work office, as an inter­lo­cu­tor, where the atmosphere of comity would be accep­ting of something close to human, something other than a mini dog. A pup would be frow­ned upon, a con­tre­temps, a risi­ble crea­ture, but objectionable.

To end what some might con­si­der more of a pero­ra­tion than a blog post, though the Elle Woods sce­na­rio works in my head, in real life it would be a dif­fe­rent story. Elle was sui gene­ris, and we mustn’t for­get, a cha­rac­ter in a movie. I’m merely an inchoate young woman, yet to prove myself worthy of apotheo­sis, with epis­te­mo­lo­gi­cal lea­nings toward skep­ti­cism, who can’t for the life of me find rea­son to use the words phlo­gis­ton, ante­di­lu­vian, and hagio­graphy, to name a few, in this blog post.

And I’m still without a dog.