Wonderland or Not

I was lounging on this sultry night, yes hard to believe it’s almost mid October, reading Notes from Underground for the first time when descending from nowhere in particular, not a thought or an itch, an odd restlessness overcame me. I decided to change it up a bit. I started to flip though several books on Tantric Sex given to me by my future sister-in-law. To know her in all her concupiscence is to love her, even though on a subbasement level sharing books on tantric sex with someone who is likely to marry into my family gives me a good skin crawling.

The air here has been turned off due to pre-winter maintenance. I blame my sudden willingness to read this stuff on the heat.

I flipped immediately to the only sections which I had any interest in, The Kama Sutra as interpreted for these tantric sex manuals. I found it all quite unappealing, the concept and the impression I get of some translucent experience which lasts forever but never allows you to see anything totally free of gauze. Eventually it gets a little headier.

The art of prolonging the pleasures of lovemaking without reaching orgasm is described in the Kama Sutra, the Hindu sex manual written in the 4th century. “Karezza” is the term used to define a male’s practice of pleasuring his partner and prolonging their intercourse by perpetuating his state of climax without actually ejaculating. These so called “dry orgasms”, orgasms without ejaculation, are pleasurable, and still allow the sexual act to continue.

I have practiced Yoga, on some lower level, for several years on and off, but this idea of me being all with every microcosm in the universe does not do it for me. Nor does searching for some elusive form of ecstasy by a consciously prolonged, to the point of certain boredom, sexual experience; it only brings to mind a sweaty body which I doubt gets less sweaty as the hours drag on.

We all know orgasms are good for our health, frequent orgasms are better.

Frequent and powerful orgasms increase the level of the orgasm hormone, oxytocin. The oxytocin level is linked to the personality, passion, social skills and emotional quotient (EQ), all of which affects career, marriage, emotions and social life. Orgasms are very beneficial for sexual health because they empower our pituitary (brain function).

Frequent I can take, but prolonged to the point of what was in some of these books - no way. Call me a quick learner and a fast cummer with little patience. I’ll get that special spiritual connection with my partner on a more cerebral level. I think even though a lot of orgasms may be healthy, one day they will find that prolonged - especially non ejaculatory - orgasms and all this work trying to reach another plane of ecstasy is a detriment to ones health, and state of mind. Not to mention it would interfere with sleep. Sleep is something we need more by the way, because of everything they still do not know about sleep the one thing they do know is without it we would die.

I’m quite open minded, and forever a voyeur into the lives of others, so if you are currently practicing some kick-ass Tantra Sex, feel it has helped you grow, or have had an ultimately mind blowing orgasm spiritually, ejaculatory or not even if it’s just in your mind, please feel free to share your experience with me all the readers who pass this way. Feel free to make me a believer.

Technorati Tags: Kama Sutra, tantric sex

Basking in the blockquotes for lunch, excuse me.

In the NYT today John Tierney writes of the study/survey done by psychologists at the University of Texas Austin Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss. A study to be published in August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior.

They basically asked nearly 2,000 people why they’d had sex, Buss was surprised “by this richness of sexual psychology”. Original Study PDF

Some of the reasons:

I wanted to feel closer to God

I was drunk.

the desire to have a child

to get rid of a headache.

help me fall asleep

make my partner feel powerful

burn calories

return a favor

keep warm

hurt an enemy

change the topic of conversation

It seemed like good exercise

Someone dared me

I thought it would make me feel healthy

The best news is that both men and women ranked the same reason most often: “I was attracted to the person.”

Thank god for that I say.

No matter what the reason, men were more likely to cite it than women, with a couple of notable exceptions. Women were more likely to say they had sex because, “I wanted to express my love for the person” and “I realized I was in love.”

Men were much more likely than women to say they’d had sex to “boost my social status” or because the partner was famous or “usually ‘out of my league.”

And they call women sluts? The truth is out there baby.

Tierney, on the other hand, feels the list is just not complete enough. He seems stuck on Herrick’s “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time”.

I just hope he is not gathering too many rosebuds.

To help him out you can also add your own reasons at Tierney Lab

My favorite of course is “to change the topic of conversation”. It works well when getting in too deep, unable to provide back-up for an argument.

So, why do you have sex?

Talk among yourselves.