I have a broken toe. The diagnosis was confirmed via photos I emailed to several medical professionals related to me by blood or time.
Recalling my recently broken wrist you might assume me clumsy, accident prone, or affected with Münchausen syndrome. However, the agent of the disaster was a heavy wood stool, part of a trio I’ve been meaning to replace for a year. I was meandering through the dark kitchen the other night when one of these vile excuses for counter seating got in my toe’s way.
When what I thought was a classic stub toe ended up throbbing well into the next afternoon I gave it further inspection. Finding the toe streaked with purplish black, to cover all bases and verify the chance of needing an amputation was slim, I took a photo and sent it off. Consequently, I am taping two toes together and abandoning the flip flops for sturdier shoes. I have been told I need no other treatment at this time.
There is no repaying these cyberspace diagnosticians of mine. That’s the problem with not being a professional in the way of a doctor, accountant, lawyer, or agent to the stars. I have very little to offer friends and family in times of crisis. Even my mixology talent is limited to gin and tonic, tequila straight up, or a martini. Though I can shake or stir with equal expertise. In general there is very little practical use for someone who compiles and analyzes facts and observations. As you can imagine, the “help me please my statistical data is totally out of whack” pleas are few and far between.
Such is life.
Enjoy your weekend — she says patronizingly, as if anyone is going to “not enjoy their weekend on purpose.
And because you can’t go wrong with lyrics like “what’s your name (what’s your name), who’s your daddy (who’ your daddy), (he rich), is he rich like me “, even when performed by men old enough to be my father’s much older brothers. I give you my August obsession, The Zombies, singing Time of the Season.
There’s a funkier one on Compulsions, with their much younger voices, and a un-embeddable but awesome version here.

