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Funiture Polish Poisoning

February 26th, 2009 by cooper

I arri­ved home to find the place ree­king of an unk­nown scary che­mi­cal smell my hou­se­mate assu­red me was only a really expen­sive bees­wax fur­ni­ture polish meant to “create las­ting natu­ral beauty from within”. Within fif­teen minu­tes the fee­ling of star­va­tion which accom­pa­nies me home most eve­nings was repla­ced with nau­sea, and I could feel a hea­dache coming on. My typi­cal sche­dule was dis­rup­ted as I had to lay down, cau­sing me to lis­ten to Chris Matthews explain his last night’s utte­rance of “Oh God” as Jin­dal, begin­ning his coun­ter punch pre­sen­ta­tion, wal­ked out of the reces­ses of some dark foyer of what loo­ked like a stage set for Gone With the Wind. I dis­like Chris Matthews, but wasn’t the whole country saying “Oh God”? Of course they were. Such bad thea­ter it was.

My hou­se­mate then came to my room, because it is odd for me to be laying on the bed so early in the eve­ning, to ask me if I was alright. I told her I had a hea­dache and was just going to rest. She then tells me I might be get­ting the flu, that two tee­na­gers died of it in our area just this past week, and that I should take care and if I get any sic­ker to call the doc­tor. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the only thing wrong with me was bees­wax fur­ni­ture polish over­dose. I then imme­dia­tely feel dead asleep only to waken to the end of an epi­sode of Big Love, and Arlo Guth­rie sin­ging City of New Orleans.

I am only now catching up on the hours of work mis­sed due to unsche­du­led sleep. My head is still poun­ding, but I’m hungry, so I’m pretty sure I’ve sur­vi­ved this epi­sode of “finish fee­der” (oh yea that is the name of her polish) poisoning.

I’ll be back around tomo­rrow when the brain stop pul­sa­ting and the fuzz starts to clear.

And oh yeah,

Fuck Finish Feeder

Peace

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16 Responses to “Funiture Polish Poisoning”

  1. BennetNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll have to apo­lo­gize that I don’t fully unders­tand Gov. Bobby Jindal’s rea­sons fully.

    I’ve been avoi­ding most poli­ti­cal & reli­gious deba­tes for quite some time.

    I briefly heard someone say that Jindal’s point is that somehow taxes will have to be inc­rea­sed for unem­ploy­ment after the Sti­mu­las has run it’s course.

    Loui­siana needs help in New Orleans big time, so I honestly can’t unders­tand Jindal’s rea­sons.
    All I do know is that Jin­dal said he would clean up corrup­tion in Loui­siana poli­tics, & I have not yet heard of anyone from the state offi­ces being fired, arres­ted or sent to receive any harsh judi­cial treat­ment of any sort.

    Bennet’s last blog post..Igno­rance At 371 kbps

  2. DougNo Gravatar says:

    I thought that was “Fin­nish fee­der” at first. What’s wrong with Murphy’s? That stuff smells great in a die­se­lish kind of way.

    Doug’s last blog post..Arse­nic

  3. piaNo Gravatar says:

    Doug has a point. I can OD on Murphy’s. I just want my house to be finished. I’ll take any clea­ning mate­rials if it will make it go quicker

    pia’s last blog post..A swan song of sorts

  4. caseyNo Gravatar says:

    Che­mi­cal smells of any kind make me sick too, even bees­wax. There is no polishing or dus­ting around here.

    casey’s last blog post..Wel­come to Lunch

  5. sauerkrautNo Gravatar says:

    I Pledge to never use finish feeder.

    Does is smell bet­ter or worse than dog­gie diarrhea left over­night on the kitchen floor cuz someone didn’t put the lid back on the kis­ses tin?

    sauerkraut’s last blog post..Sus­que­nita in nega­tive spot­light with sex act on school bus

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      It just smells like che­mi­cals, though it says it has bees­wax in it there are other poi­so­nous che­mi­cals in it and it is recom­men­ded for use only every two months. That is pro­bably because it takes two months to reco­ver from the pre­vious use.

  6. Paul MaldenNo Gravatar says:

    But I bet the fur­ni­ture has that “like new shine.”

    Paul Malden’s last blog post..What­taya Mean Yer Brea­kin’ Up With Me?

  7. gNo Gravatar says:

    My father used to use that stuff on his wee­kends off from attorney-hood when he pre­ten­ded to be a fur­ni­ture finisher. Some old fur­ni­ture doesn’t need to be strip­ped if you put finish fee­der on it. My father used to talk all the time about how it brought out the grain of the wood. It is a strange thing to use just for clea­ning and dus­ting.
    I remem­ber the smell vaguely even though it was only used out­doors or in the far cor­ners of the basement.

    g’s last blog post..What I’m Rea­ding and Buying