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Funiture Polish Poisoning

I arrived home to find the place reeking of an unknown scary chemical smell my housemate assured me was only a really expensive beeswax furniture polish meant to “create lasting natural beauty from within”. Within fifteen minutes the feeling of starvation which accompanies me home most evenings was replaced with nausea, and I could feel a headache coming on. My typical schedule was disrupted as I had to lay down, causing me to listen to Chris Matthews explain his last night’s utterance of “Oh God” as Jindal, beginning his counter punch presentation, walked out of the recesses of some dark foyer of what looked like a stage set for Gone With the Wind. I dislike Chris Matthews, but wasn’t the whole country saying “Oh God”? Of course they were. Such bad theater it was.

My housemate then came to my room, because it is odd for me to be laying on the bed so early in the evening, to ask me if I was alright. I told her I had a headache and was just going to rest. She then tells me I might be getting the flu, that two teenagers died of it in our area just this past week, and that I should take care and if I get any sicker to call the doctor. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the only thing wrong with me was beeswax furniture polish overdose. I then immediately feel dead asleep only to waken to the end of an episode of Big Love, and Arlo Guthrie singing City of New Orleans.

I am only now catching up on the hours of work missed due to unscheduled sleep. My head is still pounding, but I’m hungry, so I’m pretty sure I’ve survived this episode of “finish feeder” (oh yea that is the name of her polish) poisoning.

I’ll be back around tomorrow when the brain stop pulsating and the fuzz starts to clear.

And oh yeah,

Fuck Finish Feeder

Peace

16 Thoughts on “Funiture Polish Poisoning

  1. I’ll have to apologize that I don’t fully understand Gov. Bobby Jindal’s reasons fully.

    I’ve been avoiding most political & religious debates for quite some time.

    I briefly heard someone say that Jindal’s point is that somehow taxes will have to be increased for unemployment after the Stimulas has run it’s course.

    Louisiana needs help in New Orleans big time, so I honestly can’t understand Jindal’s reasons.
    All I do know is that Jindal said he would clean up corruption in Louisiana politics, & I have not yet heard of anyone from the state offices being fired, arrested or sent to receive any harsh judicial treatment of any sort.

    Bennet’s last blog post..Ignorance At 371 kbps

  2. I thought that was “Finnish feeder” at first. What’s wrong with Murphy’s? That stuff smells great in a dieselish kind of way.

    Doug’s last blog post..Arsenic

  3. Doug has a point. I can OD on Murphy’s. I just want my house to be finished. I’ll take any cleaning materials if it will make it go quicker

    pia’s last blog post..A swan song of sorts

  4. Chemical smells of any kind make me sick too, even beeswax. There is no polishing or dusting around here.

    casey’s last blog post..Welcome to Lunch

  5. I Pledge to never use finish feeder.

    Does is smell better or worse than doggie diarrhea left overnight on the kitchen floor cuz someone didn’t put the lid back on the kisses tin?

    sauerkraut’s last blog post..Susquenita in negative spotlight with sex act on school bus

    • It just smells like chemicals, though it says it has beeswax in it there are other poisonous chemicals in it and it is recommended for use only every two months. That is probably because it takes two months to recover from the previous use.

  6. But I bet the furniture has that “like new shine.”

    Paul Malden’s last blog post..Whattaya Mean Yer Breakin’ Up With Me?

  7. My father used to use that stuff on his weekends off from attorney-hood when he pretended to be a furniture finisher. Some old furniture doesn’t need to be stripped if you put finish feeder on it. My father used to talk all the time about how it brought out the grain of the wood. It is a strange thing to use just for cleaning and dusting.
    I remember the smell vaguely even though it was only used outdoors or in the far corners of the basement.

    g’s last blog post..What I’m Reading and Buying