cooper culture
Image 01

No, I Won’t Eat That.

June 21st, 2008 by cooper

I was sit­ting around chec­king my email upda­tes from The Jour­nal of Cere­bral Blood Flow & Meta­bo­lism ( Don’t ask ) when a friend stop­ped by on her way to a wee­kend in the mountains.

This friend likes to talk poli­tics — not boy­friends, hiking — not shop­ping, so I never mind when she stops in on her way through town. She often spends her wee­kends in the moun­tains west of here, a place some Washing­to­nians call “ The Country”.

Do you have a friend who always like to bring food to your house when they comes over to spend a few hours?

I do.

Does your friend know how to bake?

Mine doesn’t.

If I remem­ber correctly the last time it was banana bread, and yes there were pre­vious epi­so­des. I don’t bake but I do eat, and though no culi­nary expert I knew there was a key ingre­dient mis­sing from that bread which cau­sed the cen­ter part to con­geal unplea­santly. I cut this large piece of bread, took one bite, and rea­li­zed even pro­lon­ged mas­ti­ca­tion would not make easy the swa­llo­wing of the chunky tas­te­less piece of bread. Having the baker sit­ting right across from me chat­ting plea­santly didn’t help. I believe I gag­ged part of it down.

The offe­ring this time was another bread made with jala­pe­ños and oli­ves. The result was simi­lar. We hike together often, and I have brought loa­ves of jala­pe­ños and olive bread on our hikes, so kno­wing it is a sta­ple of mine it was a really thought­ful of her. I just have to learn some avoi­dance tech­ni­ques and pos­si­ble buy her a baking book for her birthday.

peace and good banana bread

Share This
  • StumbleUpon
  • Technorati
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • FriendFeed
  • del.icio.us
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Facebook
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks

Tags: ,

32 Responses to “No, I Won’t Eat That.”

  1. BillyWarholNo Gravatar says:

    mmmmmmmm Birdy Num Nums* Love Banana Bread — very nice Com­fort Food when war­med +
    slathe­red in Butter*

    was Crisco Lard the mis­sing ingredient??

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      I don’t bake either so I wouldn’t know “what ” exactly was mis­sing — just for sure that “something” was. ;0

  2. JamesNo Gravatar says:

    So does your friend rea­lise her baking is a bit iffy, or does she chomp it down like it is the best thing since well ‘sli­ced banana bread’?

  3. DougNo Gravatar says:

    Bread with jala­pe­ños and oli­ves SOUNDS great.

  4. jacobNo Gravatar says:

    We had to avoid my mothers baking as much as pos­si­ble. When I was youn­ger my mother spent hours baking some kind of spe­cial Ger­man Christ­mas coo­kie which tas­ted like card­board and pep­per. She was furious when no one ate them, so she ate them all her­self. It’s funny how i can remem­ber that incident.

    She never, to my know­ledge, made them again.

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      My mother is not much of a baker either though her mother is a spec­ta­cu­lar cook. My mom’s ave­gan though so she does have one or two specialties.

  5. MarvalusNo Gravatar says:

    I have a friend like that myself…I tas­ted a piece of cake that she made that tas­ted like sponge with icing on it…I told her that it was the worse thing I tas­ted and asked her if she for­got to put something in it…she loo­ked at me like I punched her in the face, then laughed her ass off…

    Some peo­ple don’t have the gift of baking; the best thing you can do for them is tell them…

  6. johnmNo Gravatar says:

    “The Jour­nal of Cere­bral Blood Flow & Meta­bo­lism” ? That alone would make food taste bad.

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      I don’t think I can blame the nasty taste in the jour­nal this time.
      I don’t rally know why I get those email upda­tes from that jour­nal, or why I haven’t bothe­red to unsubscribe.

  7. firerobinNo Gravatar says:

    I love me some jala­peno bread …

    Yes, it sounds like a baking book would defi­ni­tely be in order for her birthday.

  8. timethiefNo Gravatar says:

    I went through the books stage but they didn’t save me. I’m a horri­ble baker. I threw in the towel years ago. I make great salads, soups, stews, vege­ta­ble dishes and other items that don’t require much crea­ti­vity but when it comes to baking I can follow all the ins­truc­tions to the let­ter and still turn out a ques­tio­na­ble product.

    If I didn’t iden­tify so strongly with your friend then I couldn’t decide who I feel most sorry for. You or her? The poor thing is still trying … lol … :P

  9. GNo Gravatar says:

    I’m seriously such a good cook I find it hard to tole­rate the crea­tions of others.

    Baking is a more ins­tinc­tive acti­vity — coo­king a more ins­truc­tive acti­vitly. I am pretty good at baking but I think you have to do it a lot to shar­pen the instincts.

    Peo­ple can learn to cook, and cook well but even good cooks can’t always be good bakers.

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      I believe you’re right G my friend. You got to come home and bake me something it looks like awhile before I get to the beach.

  10. sauerkrautNo Gravatar says:

    Chef Marco has a great coo­king style: just add stuff until you think there’s enough of it in.

  11. SheliaNo Gravatar says:

    I love this post.

    I have my friends pretty much down to a science in their res­pec­tive food cate­go­ries. Most of them abuse my love for being in the kitchen and coo­king. I rarely mind though, it’s my plea­sure to whip up dishes and watch them sali­vate. It’s my one small con­trol fac­tor in the group, lol. I use it when I want to make the outing decision.

    I do have one friend, howe­ver, who likes to bring me food. I keep him a sec­ret from my other friends and cheat on them with him. It’s ama­zing what good culi­nary skills will do for a relationship!

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      If I had a few good friends who coo­ked well I’d pro­bably take advan­tage as well. I have only one I’d give an A.

      I think I need new friends.

  12. laketreesNo Gravatar says:

    yummo !! banana bread.…my favou­rite apart from real bana­nas of course :)
    I don’t ‘bake’ either Coo­per but I know a very very good gour­met food shop..so I pre­tend and cheat some­ti­mes ;)
    great post !!

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      I use one of tow shops for my baked goods, I figure it’s safer to serve good food than to risk ser­ving really bad food. I don’t believe I’ve ever foo­led anyone though.

  13. JamieNo Gravatar says:

    I love banana bread. I had a banana nut muf­fin today at the air­port and would be quite sad if I had to choke it down. Poor you.

  14. KaitNo Gravatar says:

    It’s why I have my favo­rite bakery. My bakery is a few miles away.

    In high school there was this one mother who used to bring “home made“cookies to all the spor­ting events, can remem­ber what team soc­cer or whatever,everyone always taking about how good she was to do all the baking, she never dis­pu­ted that claim. One day someone saw her hus­band pic­king up coo­kies at the bakery, she appa­rently had been get­ting them there all along.

    • cooperNo Gravatar says:

      Ever­yone needs to have a bakery they use for those times. The pro­blem with some of the best bakery’s around here is they close so early.