I learned the power of saying no as a young child. I wasn’t brought up with the impression I had to please everyone; the burden of making everyone happy was never placed upon me. This saved me time and time again in college because I rarely felt the chains of guilt so many feel when they are asked to do something they don’t want to do.
Unfortunately my future sister in law, though trying, has yet to learn how to use the word no, and because of this I am stuck going to something called “basket bingo” with her this evening. I don’t know what it is except it involves bingo, I can win a basket and I have to drive a significant distance to do it. She enticed me with the news of it being a fund raiser for four families who recently lost everything they owned in a fire.
I can say no, just not to my future sister in law.
Is this a plea for sympathy? Of course it is.
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Finally getting to my last copy of The Atlantic, an anniversary issue in which a group of notables including Joyce Carol Oates, Cornel West, The Terminator, and Bernard Lewis expanding on the “America Idea”. Worth a read.
I never have been much of a multitasker, when I try I fail miserably, so Walter Kirn’s The Autumn of the Multitaskers caught my eye.
Neuroscience is confirming what we all suspect: Multitasking is dumbing us down and driving us crazy. One man’s odyssey through the nightmare of infinite connectivity
This article helps explain why efficiency, convenience and mobility do not amount to freedom, my generation and the generation subsequent being most affected.
“They’re the ones way out there on the cutting edge of the multitasking revolution, texting and instant messaging each other while they download music to their iPod and update their Facebook page and complete a homework assignment and keep an eye on the episode of The Hills flickering on a nearby television. (A recent study from the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 53
percent of students in grades seven through 12 report consuming some other form of media while watching television; 58 percent multitask while reading; 62 percent while using the computer; and 63 percent while listening to music. “I get bored if it’s not all going at once,” said a 17-year-old quoted in the study.) They’re the ones whose still-maturing brains are being shaped to process
information rather than understand or even remember it.“
Multitasking does not do what we think it does, it actually slows our thinking by requiring us to chop, lump, place things in piles and then find things in those piles in order to be effective. The result is consequence is we end up with more tasks to do, and we do them less efficiently.
“we always knew it couldn’t work.“
“The scientists know this too, and they think they know why. Through a variety of experiments, many using functional magnetic resonance imaging to measure brain activity, they’ve torn the mask off multitasking and revealed its true face, which is blank and pale and drawn”.
One thing at a time is not only more efficient, it’s better for our brain.
If you have a subscription and passed it by it’s worth a look. If you don’t have a subscription — call me.
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Last but not least, a photo exhibit I’d love to see taken on the road.
I tried reading the Atlantic about a year ago and thought it was the most boring thing I’ve ever read, but maybe I was just very unlucky. A few years ago I did read an article there about writing and it changed the way I write and look at writing in general, so maybe I will try again one day. For now, though, I’m a Harper’s kind of guy.
Saying no is something I have problems with too. Trying to please is a habit a lot of people have.
My wife subscribes to The Atlantic. I subscribe to various golf journals and The Economist.
I can check it out online.I read it every so often it’s a good journal.
I am not a chronic multitasker. I’m not in the danger zone. Until sometime within the last year I had never posted or received a text message, now I text message my wife or my brothers once in awhile. I never have more than one program open on my computer at any given time and I talk to only one person a time on the phone.
I’ve worked on several projects at once but I try to keep my focus in the minute giving all my attention to one or the other.
First for the sympathy, sorry I have none – fresh out of tea (though such did remind me of the song Tea and Sympathy by Janis Ian). If you want to make yourself a basketcase over your future Sister-In-Law, go right ahead (joking). As for multi-tasking, humans have been doing this since the dawn of time. However admittedly; some Homo sapiens have yet to master walking and chewing gum at the same time. In my opinion, the problem is doing to many tasks at one time. A few is necessary, especially when driving; using your hands on the steering wheel and foot on the gas pedal. However; driving while operating a laptop, cell phone, etc. is dangerous to your health and the lives of others.
I agree multi-tasking seems appealing but ultimately is an ineffective strategy that leads to doing less not more as people often think. The Siren Song of Multitasking
Multi tasking is dangerous. I watched my attention span drop drastically when I was blogging 24/7 and trying to do other things.
I live in a city where multitasking is considered essential to survival. There’s no need to talk on the phone while attempting to navigate over crowded aisles in over crowded stores. The preson is both picking out food and talking while not looking to seeing who is in back of them and don’t care if their elbows jut into another person. That’s simply rude
It reached a point where it became both a joke and a threat to the quality of my life.
Everybody tries to show how important he/she is, and nobody is that important
I have always found it sweetly ironic that the first place I encountered cells was on the Hampton Jitney – men would use it to call their wives to tell them exactly when the bus would pull up to their stop
Same men would have their cells out on Main Beach on Sundays as if to show how important they are
It’s one thing to listen to music while working – that can help concentration when doing creative work though I have found myself naming every character Ophelia. Actually repeated listening of the same song does something to the brain to help it focus
it’s another thing to be working on four or five tabs while talking on the phone. I’m guilty of that and everything suffers
I have become so ADD’d I can’t watch “live” TV and have to DVR everything – no patience
People (my friends) say that I’m good at saying no. I’m not really but have to prioritize – again because of an overbooked world that I live in
I keep looking for a place to move to that has a slwer pace and am afraid that everyplace has become New Yorkized. Everybody has to show their importance – and yes I bring my phone to the beach on a Sunday – and have at least ten great reasons why I must.
What is multitasking if not doing too many things at once?
If we’re attempting to write something creative or researched how can we do it while uh speaking to ones sister on the phone? If I’m not giving 100% of my concentration to either, I’m failing something
That’s a big part of the reason I chose not to do My Space etc. My generation is attempting to learn to multitask and we’re going to be truly dangerous – our brains aren’t wired that way
If I talk about something I should provide a link, right?
Here you go. I hope you like it:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200107/myers
i only recently learned how to say “no,” to mean it, and to not feel guilty about it. but there are people to whom you’d never want to say “no” to. you’d rather give an arm and a leg.
as for multitasking, i’m sad to say i am good at it. and i believe my brain is suffering for it. pooooor {illyria} brain.
I happen to be a chronic multi-tasker…I run 5 blogs, am reading no less than 3 books at a time, am currently working on 2 freelance projects and work a full-time job…and can go get my nails and toes done and go grocery shopping all while my son is at basketball/football/bowling practice…it seems to come second nature…I don’t know when I acquired the skill, it just happened…
I have, in the past, had a hard time saying no…but as I get older and began to put myself first, the no’s became much easier…
If we are lucky our brains will evolve to a point where multitasking become more efficient. I can see where it would work better for certain people than others. I multitask, it is a way of life. It’s no surprise it’s not good for me.
I see you as pretty capable of saying no. I think you
just like you future SIL enough to say yes to her, Considering your brothers past “high maintainance gf” history I don’t blame you.
Basket bingo … I can’t wait to hear more .… okay, not really, but I’ll read it if you write about it.…
Thanks for mentioning The Atlantic … I’ve been wanting to subscribe and keep forgetting, but will do so this weekend. I subscribed years ago and got a little bored with it, but from articles I’ve read on their site lately, it seems to have gotten a lot snappier.
Curious about the multitasking article; I wonder about some definitional problems (like, there’s a big difference between multitasking and just being really, really busy) so I’ll be on the lookout for some clarity. Then I’ll probably proceed to write three thousand words about it, while doing laundry, cleaning house, making dinner, washing some dishes, and weeding the garden… and not one of those tasks will actually ever get finished.…
Bye!
Dale
Cooper, did you see the email I sent you via the contact form on this site?
PITS: At least according to some I read some very boring things. I like the Atlantic,
I’ve read it since forever. I read Harpers much less often. I will check out the link you
left below — goodness knows I need all the help I can get.
Jacob: You read Golf journals?????
You are fairly lo0tech for your field.
Poetress: Does this mean you are back?Basket case., indeed — talk about culture shock.
John: It’s possible there are ways to get multitasking to work for you it just seems
that for most it really doesn’t accomplish the goal. Nice post John and thanks for
stopping by.
Pia: I do think it more dangerous for some than others. It would fracture too much for
me and for my brain but it might be the differences between my brain and the frain
of someone who does it successfully.Saying no, important to learn if one has not
learned how to do it it also goes to multitasking.
{Illyria}: There are indeed those to whom we never, or rarely say no. We are probably
better for having those people in our lives though.
Marvalus: I do see you as a multitasker. I believe there are some who can do it
successfully and some who can’t. It does seem that learning no is something a lot of
people have to “practice”. I think most people were brought up trying to please at
least one person so the being unable to say know in some ways stems from that
issue.
John: They may evolve, anything is possible. I think a more accurate statement would be I enjoy Anna and we have become good friends — more so over the last few months.
I saw very little of my brother once he left for college except a when I moved to NY and he would come into town. I saw very few of his college girlfriends until Anna, though she was a pleasant surprise.
Dale: Eh I wouldn’t put anyone through that — talk about culture shock, as I’ve said.
I enjoy the Journal and like I said I grew up reading it so it is habit.
Being just really really busy these days is not the same as it used to be — I guess.
Yobachi: got you covered, check your email.
I usually try to make people happy, but if I really don’t want to do something, I won’t. When i was younger I wanted to please everyone. Of course that doesn’t work, and learned the hard way that the only person I need to please is myself.
Basket Bingo huh? I can’t wait to hear what was won!
Haven’t received the November issue yet, and they won’t let me log on for some reason.
My name is Sandra and I have an electronic addiction: I don’t text (yet), but since my laptop is practically my best friend, can a BlackBerry be far off?
I can go a whole day without speaking to another person, but still have entertaining, heartwarming, insightful and fanciful conversations via email with virtual friends who are, despite the sharing of words, virtual strangers.
My other indulgence is my Bluetooth. Having once made fun of the hordes of mad-looking people talking to themselves, I’ve gone over to their world.
A BlackBerry would allow me to walk my dog, talk on the phone via my bluetooth, and check my email.
Please help me.
Leigh: ha, nothing was won and it was the most boring thing I’ve ever done.
Eh you missed my save the waves post.
Sandra. I lost my Blackberry shorty after I got it, in college. I believe it was stolen, but I prefer to think “lost”. I’ve yet to replace it. I have no desire for an iPhone, often misplace my phone and don’t catch up to it until there are fifty missed phone calls logged in. I am addicted somewhat to the blogging format but other than that I am not really much of a tech type. I’d rather talk in person where I can see the persons face.
I think I’m one of the few people I know, at least my age, living this way these days.
I really enjoy the content on your blog..Thanks
Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple. Be Decisive.