Going to the Chapel and I’m Gonna Get….Vacuumed?
Looks like some of us will be marrying robots some day. I wanted to share my ineffable excitement with you, in the wee hours of the morning.
I’m naming mine Dorian (Grey).
My disease free Dorian won’t have to worry about that pesky aging thing either. Oh to be satiated by a robot, just let me bask a moment my sanguinity.
I do hope that Dorian does a better job of sucking up than my Roomba does at sucking dirt off my floor. Even though it’s likely Dorian will end up just like the Roomba, used only for entertainment purposes, I’m placing my order now.
There could be problems of course. I could end up with a demonic robot, worse yet a slatternly one. Rumor has it that robot funerals are cheap though so it really won’t matter. This will be one spouse I can legally bury in my back yard.
This won’t be entirely new to me. I’ve dated a robot before; his name was …. I forget. There is no doubt in my mind he was a robot though. That was my last foray into people who know my brother and go to the school of business. I’m hoping they craft my Dorian better than that.
Is there really a University in Maastricht?
The possibilities are endless. I don’t know if it fascinates or appalls me, to meet my neighbors and not know if they are robots or not. Would the guy say “this is my wife susie - shes a robot? What if my robot preferred the robot married to the woman next door?
3:30 am. robots. hmmm…
In future years, people will hopefully spend less time in a vacuum and more in reality. The hell with the robots, too.
Robots have a lot of potential. Volume control will make the difference between my marrying a robot or just dating around.
Can’t say that I would come out against robot mates. A robot maid makes more sense. It doesn’t look like anyone will be living closer to reality in the future. Everyone continues to ease away from the reality line.
Is real life so unpleasant? Are real people likewise so?
I wouldn’t want a robot you couldn’t argue with….then you couldn’t make up
Cooper, do i sense a recent increase in percentage of sex related issues on your blog? Anyway, when you order your Dorian could you do me a favor and please kindly see if there are also some nanybots to help me improve my parenting services and, oh, see if there are some Geishabots for me. Perhaps my wife won’t object if I tell her you get one too.
Cooper, do i sense a recent increase in percentage of sex related issues on your blog? Anyway, when you order your Dorian could you do me a favor and please kindly see if there are also some nannybots to help me improve my parenting services and, oh, see if there are some Geishabots for me. Perhaps my wife won’t object if I tell her you get one too.
Nothing wrong with a good robotman.
Dorian Grey: Nice name.;)
Instead of marriage counseling there’d be upgrades. You could surf the web while lying in bed. possibilities are endless.
Make sure you use surge-protection so you don’t download a virus.
Maybe I should have used “firewall” instead of “surge-protection” but I couldn’t make it come out right.
jacob: it fascinates and appalls me. You could trade.
sauerkraut: Well I had guests this weekend and they kept me up late because they were watching a baseball game. Feel sorry for me yet?
Doug: I see potential there as well Doug. I bet those little robot dogs would be quite inexpensive to feed too.
Johnm: Cleaning is unpleasant so the maid robot is something worth considering. I’m not seeing the robot marriage partner as a real possibility.
Pia: It would be n ice to have a robot to practice arguments on.
Gil: I’ll check. I tried to order Dorian last night but couldn’t find any place quite ready to meet the qualifications at this time.
Robotman: Human robotmen are different. They are much less hygienic as well.
EW: It could go either way too. It could be a perfect solution or a nightmare. It’s the not knowing that would be fun.
Coyote: Surge protection sounds about right.
Ooops. came to do some further comment reading here and suddenly noticed I posted twice. shame on me. but what do you think? when such a thing happen, should you use a third message to apologize or would that just make that worse…? :))
Cooper I am not surprised. we aim high. it takes a really hi-tec stuff to have us satisfied…
I was thinking about holding out for a female robot companion . . . but then I decided that I should work on being a better judge of character and finding some one worthy my life.
If somehow robots were extremely sexually attractive (and of course, pliable to my whims), then I guess, yeah, hook me up with one.
I’ve sometimes come to the conclusion that a real relationship requires:
1) well, two people, possible three - since there is one MFer hanging around hoping to screw it up for the other two.
2) Communication that results in copulation. Can a poem getta a guy laid? Maybe a novel on existentialism - results in a worthwhile coupling?
3) Money. At least one person will be more interested in having it than they should. Thus, your business major guy was actually your soulmate, just, well he couldn’t get past some other criterion, I’ve yet to invent. Or yet to get from these weird posts…of yours. ;)
4) Genes/Jeans. If we match up with our mirror or can see ourselves walking in their Denims, maybe they are right for us. A robot could be all that. Like what we like and do what we want.
If I had a female robot, first she’d be someone that doesn’t hate baseball. Second, she has cooking as a top program. Three, let the sexual olympics begin!!!
Fourth, she’d better be able to write better than I! Fifth, just be good with cash, will ya!
Well, humans and robots. I, ROBOT might be a good refresher course in that interaction.
Jason - I believe what you are looking for is called a blow-up doll. I hear they come in various sizes and have a number of different names. This may not be the proper place to include the squeeking part.
Gil: Nah, I’m supposed to delete it like a good blogger hostess would.
Jon: That is an excellent solution. Wonder why most people don’t think that way, even when not choosing their robot.
Jason: That thesis they gentleman wrote would lead one to believe that it is but a matter of time until people start having those feeling toward their robots. But how sad really. Nothing is perfect to make it so we might as well just …I don’[t know but I don[’t think I want a robot for anything but cleaning and maybe giving me piggy backs. I used to love those things.
SK: That whole blow-up doll thing is another kettle of fish.
When it comes down to it, we all have desires to act or choose not to act on. If there is a machine (or blow up) that provides a release and somehow satiates our desires, then it is a worthy enough path.
Artificial means are becoming the status quo in America/World society. Drugs to balance us, cosmetic operations to mold us and machines to do whatever we need them TO DO. Why would sex be ANY different?
Pills for sexual dysfunction.
Pills to make us happy.
Computers to do our ‘mundane’ calculations. (can you do a multi-linear regression or Laplace transform without it –in 60 seconds?)
All the PDAs to communicate, like, how you your so not into him/her. (How much of your ’social interaction’ now is on a keyboard or video link? That’s pretty impersonal, don’t you think?)
DNA experiments above ALL our heads. (Clone me up, Scotty!)
No it isn’t what we should be doing - but as time marches on, these things are an inevitability…
20+ years ago, if you piddled with a computer TOO much, you were a geek, loner and a loser. Now all the “cool” people are computer savvy. Plenty of ignorant people (people you would never talk to normally) have plenty of technology in their hands that they avoided like a plague not too many years prior.
Hence, when a functional apparatus for partnership comes out, and people mock, deride or sneer at its usage (and permanent linkage to it), we will soon enough find that this ROBOT will become accepted as people eventually acknowledge it useful and wondrous nature. (And since the first users will be very comfortable with tech, it isn’t like they would be cheating on humanity that much…)
Every prior generation loses something to tech.
And no, I haven’t “blown up any date”, yet. ;)
I had a super long, and semi-witty response (a blog post in and of itself), but ALAS the technology I used failed to respond in satiating way…
But one day, my tech will provide that ultimate satiation, and well, humanity be damned.
When you use your PDA, laptop, cell, microwave or other instrument of efficiency, remember: those things are completing tasks you find mundane.
I’ve met a few people that feel sex is a mundane task too. They’re usually married. ;) So why not have it completed by something, a robot, that won’t piss you off if you suck literally and figuratively at it?
We started this slippery slope with test tube babies, genetic mapping and other enhancements to our physical beings. This is just another avenue of exploration.