I was lounging on this sultry night, yes hard to believe it’s almost mid October, reading Notes from Underground for the first time when descending from nowhere in particular, not a thought or an itch, an odd restlessness overcame me. I decided to change it up a bit. I started to flip though several books on Tantric Sex given to me by my future sister-in-law. To know her in all her concupiscence is to love her, even though on a subbasement level sharing books on tantric sex with someone who is likely to marry into my family gives me a good skin crawling.
The air here has been turned off due to pre-winter maintenance. I blame my sudden willingness to read this stuff on the heat.
I flipped immediately to the only sections which I had any interest in, The Kama Sutra as interpreted for these tantric sex manuals. I found it all quite unappealing, the concept and the impression I get of some translucent experience which lasts forever but never allows you to see anything totally free of gauze. Eventually it gets a little headier.
The art of prolonging the pleasures of lovemaking without reaching orgasm is described in the Kama Sutra, the Hindu sex manual written in the 4th century. “Karezza” is the term used to define a male’s practice of pleasuring his partner and prolonging their intercourse by perpetuating his state of climax without actually ejaculating. These so called “dry orgasms”, orgasms without ejaculation, are pleasurable, and still allow the sexual act to continue.
I have practiced Yoga, on some lower level, for several years on and off, but this idea of me being all with every microcosm in the universe does not do it for me. Nor does searching for some elusive form of ecstasy by a consciously prolonged, to the point of certain boredom, sexual experience; it only brings to mind a sweaty body which I doubt gets less sweaty as the hours drag on.
We all know orgasms are good for our health, frequent orgasms are better.
Frequent and powerful orgasms increase the level of the orgasm hormone, oxytocin. The oxytocin level is linked to the personality, passion, social skills and emotional quotient (EQ), all of which affects career, marriage, emotions and social life. Orgasms are very beneficial for sexual health because they empower our pituitary (brain function).
Frequent I can take, but prolonged to the point of what was in some of these books — no way. Call me a quick learner and a fast cummer with little patience. I’ll get that special spiritual connection with my partner on a more cerebral level. I think even though a lot of orgasms may be healthy, one day they will find that prolonged — especially non ejaculatory — orgasms and all this work trying to reach another plane of ecstasy is a detriment to ones health, and state of mind. Not to mention it would interfere with sleep. Sleep is something we need more by the way, because of everything they still do not know about sleep the one thing they do know is without it we would die.
I’m quite open minded, and forever a voyeur into the lives of others, so if you are currently practicing some kick-ass Tantra Sex, feel it has helped you grow, or have had an ultimately mind blowing orgasm spiritually, ejaculatory or not even if it’s just in your mind, please feel free to share your experience with me all the readers who pass this way. Feel free to make me a believer.
Hmmm… this coming from the same blogger who later regretted asking people why they had sex… =P
Prolonged and with no climax describes some of my past relationships but no sex I’ve had?
I was in the worst mood. Then I read this truly beautifully written post.
The definition of the word “contrary” is Oliva TN Cooper
so if you are currently practicing some kick-ass Tantra Sex, feel it has helped you grow, or have had an ultimately mind blowing orgasm spiritually, ejaculatory or not, or just in your mind, please feel free to share your experience Family secrets.
Just kidding cooper, I’ve yet to get my hands on a tantric sex book. I am hedging my bets here, but if people started coming here posting about their “mind blowing orgasms” you might find yourself speechless — for a second.
This was great, a Monday morning change up. Like Pia said it was beautifully written, more so because you rarely write things like this, you often appear more stern than a twenty-something should be.
I usually just look at the pictures in the Kama Sutra.
And isn’t all that tantric stuff for the guy? Not such bad advice when you consider the average time alotted for sex between couples is about 7 minutes.
Had a hard night last night. I’m in that exhausted boredom that sometimes follows insomnia, but your post revved me up.
I thought this was a rather terse bah humbug! take on tantric sex, but I have to agree with you on much of it.
Still, I’m one of those people who hopes to remain sexual till I die. Read good books, do good deeds, have good sex.
Tantra teaches the totality of life, listening to your body, opening your heart, merging into the space of consciousness. It is true that practicing tantra can create a mind blowing orgasm trough meditation. By the way,thanks for the info about how orgasm is good for our health.
Not shocked about your opinion on this, but I am shocked that you of all people haven’t read Notes from Underground until now.
I am keeping an open mind. I am happy to try to become one with the universe. Who knows, maybe as I age I’ll need some tantric sex techniques. Send me the books when you’re finished. My girlfreind will probably want to read them.
Haha yeah, in my books, multiple orgasms totally outweigh a prolonged orgasm that may or may not be as satisfying as hoped to be. Not to say that foreplay (to prolong it) should be in any way skimped on!
I do tantric growling.
Pretty funny, if a tad cranki-esh. Just read Joanne’s blog the other day on what her mother taught her. I sure wish she’d go a bit deeper on the multiple part. I mean, yanno, not like that.
Never knew that if ya didn’t sleep, ya’d die. I did know that about pee’ing and pooping. I suspect it’s about the same with orgasming. Is that a word? Not in my dictionary. …
Um, no, but thanks for asking.
Of course, before I could have tantric sex, I’d have to be HAVING SEX in the first place.
Or is there such a thing as tantric masturbation?
Hmmm… the most important sex organ is the mind so a true connection and balance between the physical and the emotions is the best base…
Ejaculation does occur but what happens is that the male, or the partner, is supposed to press into the middle of the perineum and cut off the flow of the ejaculate at the vas deferens so that it shoots back and gets reabsorbed into the body… the purpose of this, according to what Loverboy believes to be faulty reasoning, is to not lose qi (chi) because, some believe, that the more qi you lose the more life energy and life force you lose and you therefore shorten your life span…
But it goes against the grain of holistic medicine as it is best for both illness and whatnot to come out of the body… have a pimple? Let it run its course and come out… Have a rash? Same thing… Need to come? COME DAMMIT because suppressing things and pushing them back into the body seems not to be too wise a thing to do…
As for mind blowing multiple orgasms? As a yoga teacher, let me just say that that is a reality that every woman can most definitely attain and there is no need for it to be a once in a blue moon occurence… for tips, I am happy to share the info but not here in the comments as I prefer to not turn your comment section into a sex manual… Dios mio!
But yeah… I prefer foreplay to be an act embedded into the relationship with ongoing flirtations at unexpected times throughout the day so when time for coitus (HAH! Now I am being clinical!) arrives, well, I can jump the man and not have to deal with too much pomp and shit or else I will lose it… get to the point dammit and do your job well… no pressure or anything Loverboy! ;-P
Faboo post oh elusive chica who asks for people’s sexual experiences and shares none of her own… how you playin’ us G?
;-P
EW: I wanted to do something different, and hey the books were sitting in front of me on a hot evening. The question was semi-rhetorical. But I’m certainly willing to hear about others experiences — you should see my email cache.
Pia: If I can wipe away — for you, even if only momentarily, a bad mood then I’m happy.
Jacob: For a second or two maybe.
Me stern????
Sandra: I lean toward bah humbug on this type of thing — I blame Doug.
I’m just hoping I can have good sex until I die without all that…stuff.
So far I’ve erased one bad mood and revved someone up…
we can go places here…
Al Link: Thanks for stopping by,. I’m fairly good at listening to my body, opening my heart, the other stuff will have to wait I think.
John: Five people ahead of you. I was under the impression you were already one with the universe.
Alan: The cat got your tongue?
Joanne: I know what your mean. Give me ten and go to sleep.
Doug: Do you have pictures?
SK: You die of dehydration or hypothermia.
Coyote: You’re welcome.
Oh I’m sure there is.
Mizzy B: I am glad you are last tonight. Far be it for me to deny someone their life energy but really if it’s life energy it shouldn’t be spurting all around like that anyway.
I agree with lover boy. He should write a book.
I think I prefer your methods — no surprise there.
I’m play-in ya like you want to be played, as you know everyone here says what they want anyway so it is unlikely that my asking a question is going to provoke an unintended or well thought out response. You’re too smart for that. Also, sometimes girls just want to have fun…
I have never practiced tantric sex, but I think prolonged might be better if only for the same reason that suspense works in films. Once you hit that point of high tension and/or climax, you try to sustain that feeling of anticipation for as long as possible before the release.
It has to work for sex too, I think.
i’ve nothing remotely intelligent to share on a very thought-provoking post. but reading mojo shivers’ comment, i did think (annoyingly off-tangent, i must admit) about tantric sex as utterly counterintuitive in porn.
Hahahaha
A few days ago I was at the Barnes & Noble, checking out various titles in the Self-help, sex-help and crazy-like-Eve section of the store. Something about “how-to” manuals on sex kinda takes the joy of learning on your own what pleases. But I guess a little instruction (like changing a transmission) never hurt.
At least one manual explain the 10 different ways to produce orgasm in a woman. (I’m looking for one that’s a lock…the other nine, are well, bonus tricks.)
I guess the reading a sex book given by a future family-in-laws is better than reading their emails discussing their weird habits in other ways. Or reading a how-to on dumping a man after you get his money…that would be sorta of enlightening as to her possible motives.
(I’m sure she’s a catch.)
Being too honest, the best sex has all been imaginary. I guess because she likes me as me, I can be a stud (pretend to be) and set up the fantasy around sport, dance, music, a rainshower, a rescue or anything else my semi-perverted mind can walk in and out of freely.
As good as reality in sex ultimately is, it’s the journey to it that is way too bumpy. And Sting from The Police isn’t available for a crash course in the tantric. (He’d cost too much, I think.)
Was that good for you???
MoJo: Having read your stories for some time now , that answer is so in character that I should have expected it. That is what is so cool about this blog I can ponder the responses prior to them beibg written and then see how close I might be. If you ever delve into it and find it works please let me know, or at least weave it in to one of your stories.
{illyria}: The thoughts you so often put into my head.…..
Doug: No laughing in class or you will be standing in the dog house in they hallway.
Jason: Having a very large extended family I’ve heard many stories and of many weird habits.
You have just wrecked all my illusions about sting — the vision is not a pleasant one.
My future SIL is actually one of the nicest people I know, so nice in fact, so real that I can only wonder how a brother who used to be what he thought was “a player” ever ended up with her. I’m only glad that somewhere along the line his brain moved up into his head.
I was sitting with one of my professors a couple years ago at a bar in downtown bum-f Ohio when I received by first talk on tantric sex. This dude played in a band in town some weekends, was quite “New Agey “type, brilliant but.…
I promise you, of all people, do not want to hear anyone’s story on their tantric sex episodes. Unless of course you are completely intoxicated, and even then it would be hard to take.
I’m in line for the books only because I love books.
Hah! I remember when my oldest brought home a copy of The Joy of Sex (’70’s sketches) and hid it under his bed. His brother said he found it in a trash can.
I get that one may need a book for Pilates, but a “how to” for sex? And what’s the point to prolonging anything? Would you buy a box of chocolates and just stare at it?
Ummm, my goal is orgasm (multiple, if the sex is good)…if I had a partner who tried to prolong it, he would be kicked out and not invited back…tee hee hee…
This was an interesting post, though…I don’t know much about tantric sex…I now know that I don’t think I would like it
I had to show you, Miss Cooper. Apparently, great minds think alike… at least when it comes to titles. LOL
Well, I would expect nothing less of you…
As for talk of Sting he has been known to have laughed at his supposed claims of 8-hour-long marathon sessions of pure sex to saying that what it entailed was wining and dining his wife and foreplay and all the work that comes before and after sex… the act itself not being anything to write home about time wise so…
I’m just not too crazy about he and Trudie’s love for strippers… yeah, live and let live but guilty of judging… bah. Oh well…
*sigh*
And yes, girls should always have fun…
Besos chica…
There! Fixed! BoheMiaMia indeed! Hmph!
I actually have a bit to add to Miz B’s description. As it happens, when the ejaculate re-enters the body, it does so via the bladder, and exits with urination. So even if one did think that male energy could be preserved, it isn’t. And I believe there’s a downside as well, though at the moment it eludes me.
Ehi Coooper!
The HTML goes corrected, the grass must be blue or green…
XOXO;D
But it is not pure ejaculate anymore… pure as in the exact same chemical composition as what would originally have exited the body… some does get absorbed back into the system…
And the way I see it is this… nature and evolution gave my son a foreskin so it was NOT to be snipped and it wasn’t and sex involves the one-eyed snake spitting so let it spit dammit!
Now… exactly where it spits is up to the people involved and I need know NOTHING about it thank y’all very much!
Well, I think everyone agrees that cumming is healthy and provides release (mentally and physically). But really, I have really nothing to add to this thought provoking post
Nothing to contribute.
The end of all these comments it getting way too technical for me. How hard is it to just talk to your partner — I feel weird using the word “partner”, but they always use it is the sex manuals I never read.
All this reabsorbing doesn’t sound like fun.
Now… exactly where it spits is up to the people involved and I need know NOTHING about it thank y’all very much!.
Yes. Can’t say a list of comments on where we all ejaculate would entertaining anyone.
I can’t believe I just wrote that.
Just don’t hate the “playa”, hate the game!!!
I think men are “organized” around their penis. Think about it this way: it is centrally located, it reacts to changes in temperature (shrivelling in cold), it has only two “significantly different” functions and it appears larger in our minds than it is on “paper.”
Having a great mind is wonderful, but really, no one can see it walking down the street. Of course We could see the sex member… back in the day…
There is a phrase I can’t stand, but used, just now, “back in the day.” I hear it out of 22 – 23 year olds. What is back in the day for them, like 99′ or 2000? I’d rather hear, “that is so 20th century.”
At least that would be a comment on something really “old school.” Saying back in the day, means, to me at least, 20+ years ago. If you were in the crib, or still in the womb, you can’t front like that. For real, dog.
And that’s the last time you’ll hear “for real, dog” out of me too. Too good of a blog to ruin it with fronted knowledge and dropping science on these peeps.
Cuz that ain’t coming correct, you dig?
TTYL.
yeah, Jason.
for real, dog.
I’m still stuck on the visual of seeing a penis walk down the street. I’d rather not, thanks. But when I see a woman I know walking down the street, I know right away the strength of her mind.
G: That is one thing I never really had to worry about going to a very large school it was not likely that I would meet up with random prof at a bar and start taking about sexual practices — unless it was of tribes of some island four thousand miles away.
KellyPea: Absolutely not I’d eat the chocolates all at one sitting — which is probably why I rarely eat them. Probably why I rarely have sex too.
Marvalus: You and me both, there is long enough and then there is prolonged.….…anything prolonged– a lecture, a car drive, a vacation even is not a good thing…
MoJo: Yes, yes, they do.
That was funny. That was really I i really wanted to know..
MizzyB: eh, you just ruined my vision of Sting.
EW: Hum, I think my anatomy and physiology needs a brush up session.
Hanna: It must be both.
Miz B: I don’t need to know that’s for sure; if I did I would have asked that question.
I hope no one thinks I was asking people where they ejaculate…
Lord fuck it I don’t care …
Leigh: I k now what you mean it’s pretty hard to go much further here.
Casey: I don’t know it seems to be getting a lot of comments.
Jason: I use back in the day all the time, everyone has a back in the day even a two year old.
I do think all those tantric sex practitioners or at least the people writing those books take themselves very seriously.….
SK: I don’t know why that does not ring true to me.
I would love to try tantric one day! Shit, I would love to just have sex period!