Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me again
Scrolling the notes of a site I frequent I noticed a few men getting a real guffaw out of this Onion parody of the sensationalist, unrealistic, and totally disgusting coverage of news by our “media”?
I’m not posting the vid here. I don’t think it’s funny, and it is at the bottom end of tasteless. It is germane to this post though, so please view it. I’ve laughed at the Onion many times, much less as I get older. This struck me as pretty low on the totem pole of comedy. Not that the truth is not there, buried under the multiple times the word rape is bandied about, but at what cost to decency?
In my search for what others feel on this subject, (At twenty-two, I often seek out the reasoning of others to stack it up against my own and compare). I found this small post containing a sentence which sums up part of why this isn’t funny.
“I think the days of the Onion are numbered. Satire has no where to go. The real world has become satire”
That may be the reason why I feel very little college type humor is funny, at least not past the age of college, but it’s not the reason this goes too far.
Is it merely a parody, making fun of a media? Maybe, yet no so much.
It is more complicated than that, if you are female that is. The guffaws exude a contemptuous disregard for women, though I’m sure the men who found this to be a sidesplitting video would deny that.
Not only is it in the worse of taste, it’s obvious some people just do not get it; those people are, for the most, part male. It never fails to amaze me when people, usually males not lacking in intellectual capacity, are able to turn off the part of the brain which controls empathy and comprehension of a large picture.
Mind the Gap had a post earlier in August which asked the question — if we can laugh at all manner of things, even death why can’t we laugh at something which includes the word rape as a by product?
For me it is clear, death by whatever means is inevitable, illness for the most is also inevitable, as is tragedy, family issues, and weird cultural proclivities which depend on our family, ethnic and social environment – all an inevitable part of life. Rape is not one of these things. Rape is not inevitable; it is an act of violence usually perpetrated upon women by men.
Do I need to examine my thoughts on this more completely? Probably. It doesn’t stop the disappointment from seeing the large number of men, only a few who are really totally ignorant, laughing at something like this without looking at the bigger picture.
Are we not where we are because we often fail to look at the bigger picture?
Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Rape me, my friend
Nirvana
I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at things like this. It’s not a bad satire. It’s not hilarious. There is too much to satirize, and there isn’t a need to accentuate something like this. A really good satire could have been done without the rape angle. Should have been done without the rape angle.
I laugh at some pretty sick things, so I hate to make too much of it.
ot: I posted that contest.
I cannot believe you are only 22 and this aware and political…I get more amazed by you every day
I have been amazed by you since you were a 20 year old girl with a blog
Why can’t we laugh at rape? Let me count the ways. Some subjects can never and should never be funny
After 9/11 they said the age of irony was dead. They got it backwards. It was just beginning
But I look forward to the time OTN Cooper rules the world
Hey -
I’m pretty much an anomaly, in that I was raised to revere women not denigrate them. I thank my parents for that.
I never understood how males could not treat females with anything but respect. If the woman is not deserving of respect, then walk away — there’s no need for violence.
If everyone studied their history, they would learn that women were the first “gods” of our ancestors. They were worshiped and adored — carvings and statues were made in their image which survive to this day. This took place long before we worshiped the moon, the sun, the stars, the rulers, the priests, the wise men, etc. And we revere them today — Who hasn’t heard of ‘Mother Nature’, ‘Mother Earth’, etc.
In fact, women ruled the tribes and the men were obedient to them. (The exact opposite of what the Bible teaches — don’t get me started). It was a wonderful society as the women were very wise, the men accepted this organization, and all thought only of the well being of the ‘village’. Sure there might have been jealousies, and such, but the clans grew due to this nurturing spirit.
Okay, fast forward to the present.
We have songs, movies, books, articles, jokes — all about how stupid blonde’s are, how women are prostitutes, how women are only good for being a man’s slave, how women are being raped and this is a fairly ubiquitous event, how women aren’t as smart as men, how women are the ‘weaker’ sex, and on and on and on.
How sad we’ve come so far technologically and yet have regressed so far in so many other ways — deportment was the first word to come to mind, but there are doubtlessly many more.
Those of you who might be reading this comment and think that I’m full of crap or have a misogynistic bent — do yourself a favor. Before you cross swords with me, be sure your powder’s dry and that you’re not firing blanks.
Humor, as in all tastes, is subjective. I thought the most we can hope for is to find that most of the world finds the same things subjectively in good or bad tastes. It’s never going to be a perfect number, but we can work towards finding a common set of values.
I see nothing funny about rape. It is one of those few items about which I never joke. I had to go to Fluttercraft’s blog to remind myself why sick comments about rape can never ever be considered fodder for humor.
And I’m a guy. Imagine that.
I get what you are saying.
It’s easy, as a male, to look at that video and laugh at the parody without even picking up on the rape factor. As a guy I don’t have that gut reaction to the “word” rape. Does that mean I don’t understand rape is wrong or find rape appalling? No it doesn’t.
Sexual based violence should then not be used for comedic purposes? I don’t know. Does your argument on the inevitiablity of death but not rape stand? Don’t know. As always I have to think about this.
Rape is wrong. If the act, and therefore the word could be obliterated from society we would be in a good place.
I get very tired of people who want to push the boundries just to push the boundries. They’ve passed by shock value (which is useless most of the time) and simply gone on to pure crap. Instead may I recommend the documentary I saw tonight on Military Sexual Assault. Something like 1 in 7 of all the women in the first Gulf War were raped or sexually assaulted by other U.S. troops.
Now there’s something to make you sick.
G: I know exactly what you mean. The sick feeling. You’re right it could have been done differently. And should have.
good for you — send me all your winnings.;)
Invisible Woman: Aw shucks. Seriously though some things just piss me off.
Pia: What you weren’t reading me when I was 19? I am devastated. Please I can barely write this prop paper I’m supposed to be doing this weekend.…the world will have to wait a couple weeks.
Morgan: I am not going to argue with that.
I’m glad you stopped by Morgan.
MoJo: Yes, and valuing all genders equally would be a good place to start.……yes?
Sauerkraut: Even realizing that this parody was not about rape, the usage of the term rape should have provoked a gut response in those who get it. That it provoked, in many cases, hilarity is what surprised me.
John: I disagree, as there are guys who do have that gut reaction. It is true they may be like G the same guys who have that reaction to anything which derides human beings, it may not. I don’t know.
Please do.
Think about it.
Coyote: yes sexual assault in the military is pretty high, higher than one would expect from people who are so willing to die for a cause .…
I realize I might be going against the rest of the comments here. I watched the video. I found it disturbing, but not shocking.
I don’t think the intention of satire is always to create laughter. This works differently.
Whether it was effective or not, or to what purpose is debatable. But the fact that it takes a determined level of concentration to differentiate between this satire and real television reporting is what is really shocking.
It’s not that the video was funny. It wasn’t. Its entire punchline was the word “rape,” which makes it hypocritical if it’s trying to satirize a news media which quite literally stands to profit from rape.
But to declare that this is one case where you cannot in good taste hold a mirror up to nature is to level an accusation of ThoughtCrime.
Which isn’t to say that the act of rape is funny. It isn’t. But that’s not all you’re saying here. What you’re saying is that nothing that relates to rape can be funny. And that’s patently incorrect.
Death is inevitable, but murder, cannibalism, torture, starvation, suicide, etc… aren’t. And people joke about those. And often it’s funny. Even though the things themselves are horrible
As for the bigger picture, rape is not just an act of sexual violence perpetrated by men on women. It’s also perpetrated by women on women, men on men, and yes, women on men. And who it happens to more in this case doesn’t really matter. It’s a problem that can touch anyone, and it’s really a cop-out to point the finger at men laughing at it. Especially since there is next to no one telling people not to laugh at prison rape. And that comes up in comedies far more often.
It’s not that the world is making satire ineffective. It’s that the world is so fucked up that any half-wit with a pen thinks he can be a brilliant satirist. And the masses have perilously low standards, as evidenced by what passes for satire and by what passes for news and by what passes for government.
Cooper, have you noticed this is the most emailed AND most viewed clip currently on the site?
I think satire should be allowed to laugh on everything. we can’t have some “subjects” banned because some of us think its not funny. If we do, we won’y have any satire at all. that’s just how things work — shut one mouth, and the next will follow.
With that I do think we have another case of the “stupid blond teenage girl”: mass media has always been used to support our socialization process and strengthen our social values. As men rule the world for many years they used all kinds of means during history to maintain their upper hand and jokes is one of them.
Also, various forms of rape were legitimate acts in many cultures until recently (in some they still are). Women were raped and murdered by men on a regular basis for years.
Cooper, don’t get disappointed. The new world some of us try to make since about 100 years ago is not going to be here anytime soon. It’s still quite a jungle out there. I live in Israel, I know what I am talking about. Also check on what coyotemike said about the documentary he just saw.
Actually cannibalism is a cultural proclivity, suicide a means of death…death being inevitable anything that leads to it no matter what might be considered fair game — no matter what we will all die, it matters not the means. That having been said, I wouldn’t find a similar parody on torture funny either, although admittedly I might not have the same gut reaction to them.
Rape is still overwhelmingly a male on female crime. Men always like to bring up the fact of it not being solely a male on female crime every time rape is mentioned. The fact is if it was a sexually violent crime “most often” perpetrated by males on males, or females on males, I don’t think men would have found this video hilarious at all. I think they might have had the same gut reaction I had.
I don’t feel it is a cop out to point out that men still don’t get it, even brilliant ones such as yourself.
I stated in the post that most likely I need to examine my feelings on this a little deeper, so far I haven’t changed my mind. I have had my coffee yet though so we’ll see.
Gil: Can’t say I’ve noticed that, but it doesn’t surprise me.
The problem here is the “some of us” may well be a large some of us — women.
Women in many parts of the world are subjected to horrific sexual violence still — reading “Infidel” just helps me to assure myself of that. The fact that we are not far from the darker times here in this country is no excuse . The fact that so few men understand this gut reaction is the problem.
It’s the old “I love women, but you are way off base to feel that way in reaction to this video and we should be able to make fun of anything even this in our effort to find something funny in the sad state of ouR society”.
The sexual violence in the military, a known problem, just goes to highlight my point really.
Irish Space Monk: Not going against the grain here at all as you can obviously now see.
The sexual violence in the military, a known problem just goes to highlight my point really.
To be the effect of this satire was lessened significantly because the rape thing interfered with it. As G said, the very same point could have been made a different way, and would have been just as effective. The fact that no one cares to do so just highlights what I see to be the problem.
You see the fact that there is no thought to it. It is the reactions that disappoint.
Sexual violence — way too prevalent around the world — seems only to make certain people wince, calling it fair game and calling it no worse than this or that just goes to show we have a long way to go.
As I said and will say again.
I understood it was supposed to be a parody of our pathetic news and obvious for some it was effective as well as “hilarious”. At this point in time how many times are we going to parody the news anyway? It has been a joke for some time, if we stopped watching it we would have to put up with pathetic satire such as this.
Poetress: You’re absolutely right, from my point of view.
Dedd: I think it is the getting off on this stuff that bothered me most. The getting off on it without realizing that the subject matter, even if not the crux of the parody was highly offensive and painful for a whole gender of individuals. How easily it is to disregard this in the name of free speech , comedy, parody, the need to make us laugh, is sad. It should be frightening. It could have been funny done differently; it should have been and if a moments thought had been given maybe would have been.
Someone once said and I quoted this before in re to Imus ignorance and I will say this again in re to the Onion lyric satire, “A Joke Isn’t A Joke When It Hurts Someone”. For the to many women, girls and men, boys who have been raped I know you understand this, for those who have not had to endure the pain of such devastating defilement of not only ones body but also the totality of self and innocence, IT IS NOT FUNNY at any cost for any reason.
It isn’t really funny, it’s blunt, and it’s sophomoric. But there is one valid point; as long as people get off on this stuff, we’re gonna keep seein’ it.
As for the Onion having “nowhere to go,” and satire becoming tired, that may be true, too. I’ve (obviously) been thinking a lot about what’s funny, and what other people think is funny, and how that is changing. As the targets of our humor become more and more ridiculous, it is becoming harder and harder to lampoon them with effectiveness. For instance, one doesn’t need a comic recap of a Bush press conference; you only need to see the actual performance to laugh.
Like all our companies and media outlets, the sources of our humor are also becoming consolidated. Sad.
Yes, cannibalism is a cultural proclivity. But horrible as it is, so is rape. And if suicide, murder, starvation, etc can me just lumped in as “means of death which is inevitable” then by the same logic rape can be considered “means of sex.” It’s a simple analogue. Murder is to death what rape is to sex. Both are horrible, violent means of something that is otherwise natural.
See I think that you instantly lumped me and my argument with what “men who don’t ‘get it’” and what they “always like to bring up” demonstrates pretty readily that it is a cop-out. Especially seeing as you didn’t offer any explanation as to why it’s perfectly ok to let references to prison rape in comedy slide without reproach. I know that the message you’re sending isn’t that when men are raped it’s funny and when women are raped it’s not, but that’s the silent message that comes of it all when next to no one raises a voice when the former is referenced in comedy and when there’s an uproar with the latter.
Let me specify. I know two men whose lives have been irrevocably altered by rape. One was conceived by it, and another is a survivor of it. Both have laughed at things that relate to rape in a similar way as this video. Does that mean they don’t “get it?”
And I know you said you need to examine your thoughts on the subject. That’s part of the purpose of debate. Not just to advocate a point of view, but to refine one’s own perspective.
I can’t say much that you did not all ready address as honestly and calmly as possible.
It’s not something really any guy can (or should) say anything defending “it.”
I wasted my time looking at the video. There are a lot of people getting a “guffaw” out of it, if it is the most emailed thing they have going on over there.
I get your point that “men don’t get it”. I can’t see it from a females point of view. The word rape doesn’t stand out to me, the satire does, that may be the difference here. men see the satire and woman see the word. It a inexcusable act, but it does not strike fear into me or nausea or anything at all because I have no experience with it. Maybe that’s the difference. I can overlook the word because the word does not resonate, it is easier to see just the satire.
You may be right, that we can’t see could also be the problem.
I don’t know cooper, even you said that you have to think this one over.
In the interest of adding another layer to the discussion, I’d have to say that there are some men who do not limit their raunchy rape flavored humor to depictions of man on woman aggression.
I used to work in a machine manufacturing plant, and as you might imagine, we had a large variety of weird individuals employed there. There were a few (men) that used to get a real kick out of sneaking up behind other men, clasping them around the mid-section and dry humping them from behind, simulating rape.
Of course this was all supposed to be innocent fun because hey, these guys were straight, and they weren’t offending women. Bah. Rape is lame in any context, and it seems to have many.
EW: Rape is not a cultural proclivity it is a socially constructed aberrant behavior which due to patriarchal ideologies has been allowed to go unchecked in many parts of the world. Here at times it is often ignored and often considered acceptable. Ie: the girl wore a short skirt, the girl was a whore anyway, the girl asked for it. Etc.
Rape is not sex, rape is a violent act which includes a forced sex act as a form of power.
Certainly freedom of speech, but doesn’t freedom have its responsibilities? Isn’t it funny how the same people who clamor for freedom continually call on freedom to support suppression of others?
I don’t lump you anywhere wombat, you know that. I’m not a “lumper”.
I didn’t say anywhere it was ok to reference a prison rape wombat, I stated clearly none of this stuff is funny to me. What one can do one post is limited, as you well know; it is hard enough to try to make one point and have people read it all the way through, when you start to make a point and half you tend to lose everyone.
One more point, I would bet my life that if rape of men was as prevalent worldwide as rape of women this thing would have gotten much less in the way of laughs and would not have been the most emailed vid of the day.
Jason: People are free to say whatever they want here, so don’t let that stop you.
Casey:
I don’t see what ‘s wrong with having different reactions to different things. It allows people look at things differently. It is too bad that one can not read others opinions and disagree without always trying to denigrate the other person.
If I did it I’m sorry.
That may be part of it.
Of course I have to think on everything. I’m pretty solid on this at this point though.
Dave: What I never understand is what kind of society produces grown men who find this kind of thing funny. What kind of world are they living in that we end up with people whose mind functions at that level?
How can you use a phrase like “rape culture” and then say that it’s not a cultural defect? Also, I’m sort of fuzzy on how what you said makes my analogy incorrect.
You certainly seemed to be saying that I was a part of the problem. And I wasn’t expecting you to talk about it in the post, but you jumped all over my other argument and left that one alone
Living in a free society means that sometimes you get offended. And it’s ludicrous to say that this video supports the suppression of anyone other than fearmongering news anchors.
Also, I’d forgotten about my other counterpoint.
Easily the funniest moment in “The Aristocrats”
As for the speculation, I’d posit that men are far more likely to laugh at horrible and disgusting things, even if it were something that only victimizes them. It’s not a big secret that men and women tend to have different senses of humor. It was female stand-ups who brought on the current trend of observational humor, putting the “joke” in its grave at least where working comedians are concerned. It’s hardly as if the only things that get laughs out of men but offend women are things that are oppresive of women.
And just why is there so obviously something wrong with the way someone thinks if they make jokes that aren’t hurtful to anyone present? It’s one thing to take objection to something that gets broadcast, and still another something that to see you need to seek out on the internet, but something that a group of friends do on their own?
How can you use a phrase like “rape culture” and then say that it’s not a cultural defect? Also, I’m sort of fuzzy on how what you said makes my analogy incorrect.
Did I use rape culture in the post? I’ll have to look, I didn’t think I had. I was addressing specifically the idea of it being “:hilarious”, and the idea that it would not have been hilarious if rape were a violent humiliating invasive crime perpetrated mostly on men.
Living in a free society means that sometimes you get offended. And it’s ludicrous to say that this video supports the suppression of anyone other than fear mongering news anchors.
The video itself may not but the hilarity at it without regard for the term rape used many, many times does — that was the point which I obviously did not articulate it well enough.
The video I found offensive — not funny, but the post would not have been written had it not been for the “hilarity” factor which I found in that original post at the notes, it was not the only place I found that attitude because I went looking, and there was a lot of hilarity over it; it is was just the first place and hence used as a reference.
It was female stand-ups who brought on the current trend of observational humor, putting the “joke” in its grave at least where working comedians are concerned. Again it is the fault of the women. The arguments are standard I’ve heard them many times.
But that has nothing to do with my point of view, as I speak only for myself and not some random female comedienne.
It’s one thing to take objection to something that gets broadcast, and still another something that to see you need to seek out on the internet, but something that a group of friends do on their own?
The purpose was to point out an attitude, at the time that attitude had a perfect example through a thread of posts which has since been removed.
The word “hilarity” in the face of the multi episodic use of the term rape — I said the video was not funny and was the basest form of comedy — not an attack, an opinion. It was not necessary to bring up the “female comics trend simple to bring females into the mix — which is exactly why it was done.
It’s an appropriate phrase, but there is no relationship — it is a man made, not a natural (at least I hope not). I think you know well I was not referring to man made oppressive social constructs, but natural cultural and ethnic proclivities one might finds in say… your Irish family, or my Austrian/Hungarian/Cuban family or withing a single family unit itself or a tribe of people. Anthropologically speaking the natural things not the aberrant.
It’s late dare I turn on my chat.…
Doesn’t matter if you used it in this post. Unless you don’t believe it to be an appropriate phrase anymore, which I doubt.
But you were attacking the video. You said that the word “rape” invalidates it as satire, and if the Onion isn’t shooting for hilarity, what else is there? People calling something “hilarious” that’s not is hardly a new thing. people still use it to describe SNL and it’s not true. And yes there are people who will apply it to anything with shock value, even clumsily wielded shock value. I do believe I said that I find the video itself hypocritical.
Who said I was blaming women for anything? If not for that trend there’d be no Seinfeld or Mitch Hedburg. The “joke” is obsolete except in rare instances. I was just pointing out a difference in sense of humor. I’m not trying to start a gender war or fan the flames of one.
I wasn’t reading anything in to the video . I was reading it into the the ensuing hilarity, a hilarity which occurred in many places and was not read into.
I agree it should be parodied, and could h ave been done so quite cleverly without rape such emphasis. The fact is our media is a joke and many in this country are just figuring it out. Parody the public in this country for watching that shit and caring about the blond girls gone missing in lieu of any thing else. At this point in time that is a more deserving parody because the fact that out media sucks is old news .
Despite that, the point of this was not the parody it was the effect of that kind of parody has on women and the fact that men can look past a lot of things which really do not effect them no matter how horrible. It could have been done differently. As I said, that hilarity would not have been there if rape was a crime most often committed against males.
Nice to see you though Jason.
Wow. That’s a lot to read into a silly Onion piece, chica.
Actually, I swing the other way on this. Women get raped every hour of the day on this planet. But the American public only becomes enthralled when it’s a white college-educated kid from Middle Fucking America. That should be parodied. You’ve got women getting gang-raped at the ends of machetes in central Africa, but when Mrs. Pollyanna Cornfed disappears from a college campus, has a cutesy Facebook pic, then that becomes a sensation. Screw the women of the world who have no control over their destinies, face AK-47 fire and genital mutilation. America’s damned Sweetheart gets the headline.
I was speaking to a general difference in senses of humor, to support my position that even if rape happened solely to men, there would still be as many people calling that video “hilarious.” And I said that right there.
Prison rape is laughed at by men, and men are almost always the victims when it’s depicted. Your contention that the people laughing at the video must not “get it” is just untenable
And I contend, although you may find men laughing at jokes based on it, you would not find the attitude of “hilarity” surrounding it. In an environment where male rape was the norm had the same tape been done and the rape been referring to male rape you would have very few men calling it hilarious.
There is no way to really know this though is there as it is hypothetical as male rape is not the norm and as hypothetical situations can lead to infinite commentary I’m done with this for the moment.
Federer is calling.
no one said that rape was hilarious. they said that this one clip that had the word rape used in it was hilarious.
And I think it’s more than fair to say that that, being male, I’m in a better position to know what men are more likely to laugh at. And yes. There’s no way to know for sure. But there’s no way to know anything for sure. The hypothetical you draw isn’t supported by anything that we do know.
I wasn’t using a hypothetical I was stating a fact of what I saw and read online. You were stating a hypothetical. “even if rape happened solely to men“
but as seem to be dominating the conversation and it is obvious we are not going to see eye to eye on this is is probably best to end it here. If you want to have the last word you may.
Forcfully attacking another human for sexual gratification can never be condoned. As a former Judo instructor/coach frequently approached by women to teach them anti-rape techniques, I understand a bit about their fear and anxiety. Humour and or satire are in poor taste addressing this subject.
This certainly has been an interesting set of comments. Certainly one of the best I’ve read in the blogosphere on any topic in some time.
I would, nevertheless, like to add a little something.
I think we can all agree that rape is most often a crime of violent domination, not sexual gratification.
In the prison environment, however, it is usually a combination of the two. And, given the ever-rising male prison population, the incidents of male-on-male rape is sky-rocketing. In this country, sadly, male-on-male rapes represents a huge chunk of all rapes. But they never really make it into the kept statistics or nightly news because they occur in prisons. And convicts deserve it, right? Which makes it okay for jokes.
Rape, in any context or setting, is never okay.
Excellent topic, Cooper.
Willi: Obviously I agree with you.
Thanks for stopping by. Kayaking is one thing I could never get a handle on.
SK: I agree of course. I think in some ways this whole thing stems from the fact that I find very little funny about things like this in general but it was just so perfectly common to find men using words such as hilarious with no regard to what lies beyond the initial attempt at satire.
I love your willingness to post opinions you know will get you kicked around a bit.
Just stumbled upon this and totally agree with you Cooper. Theres lots of funny shit about. This is not funny. And I find humour in most stuff.
I assume that this is attempting to be a satirical look at todays media.
The vast majority of people abhor rape. We should be discussing the medias portrayal and manipulation of the news. 5 stars for highlighting this.
Someone once said something like “Bad things happen when good people say nothing“
Keep posting.
Also, I think when men laugh at the male-on-male rape that happens in prisons, the ones who are laughing are men who have a lot of privilege, who have never been in prison and will likely never be in prison because they can afford good attorneys, etc. Having worked a bit with ex-convicts, I can safely say that they’re simply not included in the conversation; we never see their views or needs in the mainstream, and our culture is so hostile to them that they have an extremely difficult time getting jobs and reintegrating into society and very often land back in prison, where they once again have about a 0% chance of taking part in any public dialogue about what affects them.
Also, I’d just like to say that I think it’s really, really messed up to say that murder is to death as rape is to sex. Whereas most people fear death and everybody only goes through it once, sex is meant to be an extremely enjoyable act that most people will participate in many times throughout their lives. A more apt comparison would be to say that rape is to sex as murder is to life. It takes away your ability to enjoy a wonderful thing, and yes, I am talking from experience when I say rape takes away your ability to enjoy sex. Hell, it’s taken away my ability to enjoy most aspects of life, and I don’t think it’s something that can ever, ever be funny. It must be nice to not know what that’s like and be able to pass rape jokes off as comedy gold.
Joe: it’s good for the mind.
jericho: I will, as much as it causes some unhappiness at times. If one more person gets it each time, well so much the better. Thanks for commenting.
verifitas: Also, I think when men laugh at the male-on-male rape that happens in prisons, the ones who are laughing are men who have a lot of privilege, who have never been in prison and will likely never be in prison because they can afford good attorneys, etc.
You make a very good point one that has not been made here as yet.
You are dead on here.
Hmm. Let me start by stating that I know a fair amount of women who’ve been raped. I also know at least one guy that’s been sexually abused as a child, and have worked with children from abusive families. People confide in me.
As a consequence, I tend to think a lot more about rape than most people do, and what the consequences of rape are. Nothing about rape is funny, not even in the slightest.
But rape isn’t sexual violence, that really doesn’t do the crime credit. There is inherently nothing in it about sex, that’s just the tool, and anyone claiming otherwise doesn’t really understand it. With rape, people demonstrate that their victim’s wishes are utterly irrelevant.
Part of the motivation for even considering the act may be sexual, and the sexual pleasure may contribute to the feeling of superiority people get from victimizing someone, but that doesn’t make rape sexual. Sex happens mostly in the mind. Some people get off on beating someone up — does that make it a sex crime?
No, the similarity between both isn’t the sexual part, it’s the dominance part, the demonstration of “I can do to you whatever I want”. And experiencing that on the victims part is where the horror of rape lies, the complete lack of control.
What makes rape worse than other, similar crimes, isn’t so much the sexual part, it’s how rape gets treated by society. Rape victims often feel they can’t confide in others, because rape is a taboo subject, one that one isn’t allowed to talk about in normal tones. One has to react outraged, shocked, sympathetic, so people do that. You might as well treat rape victims as lepers — they don’t need people confused about how to treat them, somewhat sympathetic yet oddly distant. They need genuine and uncritical warmth, just like anyone else.
Which, apart from possible threats by the rapists, is why a fair number of victims keep the crime to themselves. Which is why rapists get away with what they do. Which is why the whole thing won’t stop that quickly.
There is really only one way to treat rape, and that’s to pull it out into the open, to talk and even to use it in jokes, as unfunny as the subject itself may be. Yes it may be uncomfortable for some victims, but it’s the only way to start preventing more cases of rape, by starting a paradigm shift in our culture’s perception of the crime.
Note that I do not propose joking /about/ rape. But using rape as a hook in a parody, such as the Onion one — I see little problem with that. The joke isn’t about rape anyway, the joke is about how media create news.
I don’t find it terribly funny because it’s too close to the truth. My only problem with the Onion video is that, and the fact that they’ve done the same thing before. There is no need to pull rape into it, and therefore it becomes a bit of a cheap shock — and the topic deserves better treatment than that.
I’m in total agreement with you unwesen.