So, Why do you have sex? Basking in Blockquotes.
Basking in the blockquotes for lunch, excuse me.
In the NYT today John Tierney writes of the study/survey done by psychologists at the University of Texas Austin Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss. A study to be published in August issue of Archives of Sexual Behavior.
They basically asked nearly 2,000 people why they’d had sex, Buss was surprised “by this richness of sexual psychology”. Original Study PDF
Some of the reasons:
I wanted to feel closer to God
I was drunk.
the desire to have a child
to get rid of a headache.
help me fall asleep
make my partner feel powerful
burn calories
return a favor
keep warm
hurt an enemy
change the topic of conversation
It seemed like good exercise
Someone dared me
I thought it would make me feel healthy
The best news is that both men and women ranked the same reason most often: “I was attracted to the person.”
Thank god for that I say.
No matter what the reason, men were more likely to cite it than women, with a couple of notable exceptions. Women were more likely to say they had sex because, “I wanted to express my love for the person” and “I realized I was in love.”
Men were much more likely than women to say they’d had sex to “boost my social status” or because the partner was famous or “usually ‘out of my league.”
And they call women sluts? The truth is out there baby.
Tierney, on the other hand, feels the list is just not complete enough. He seems stuck on Herrick’s “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time”.
I just hope he is not gathering too many rosebuds.
To help him out you can also add your own reasons at Tierney Lab
My favorite of course is “to change the topic of conversation”. It works well when getting in too deep, unable to provide back-up for an argument.
So, why do you have sex?
Talk among yourselves.
Because it feels good… is usually free… and doesn’t require an advanced degree.
To avoid answering questions.
OK, but you knew my answer would be something dismal.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And, while ye may, go marry;
For, having lost but once your prime,
You may forever tarry.
That makes me wonder.
The list at the site is entertaining and have a good range of serious and not so serious.
example
“As a sales rep for Pfizer, it’s company policy”
Quite believable, but still funny.
One commenter pointed out that “The results contradicted another stereotype about women: their supposed tendency to use sex to gain status or resources.
These women haven’t entered the real world where they have to compete for jobs, raises, etc. “
I’m sure you’ll have something to say on this.
It was composed entirely colleges students. The question is will their views stand after they have been ravaged by life.
Do I need a reason?
No, you misunderstand. People call some women sluts. Calling a man a slut is egregiously redundant. I don’t think there’s even a word for a man who isn’t a slut.
To echo JohnM, why not?
“Change the topic of conversation” and “Someone dared me” are too funny! Thanks. Now, I’m gonna go read what you write about Darfur…
Because I want to. When I want to change the topic or we’re having a discussion I can always count on McHub to back out. He’s the one uncomfortable with confrontation and conflict. Me-I like an intelligent argument from time to time.
Because it’s fun & pleasurable all around. If you ask me, the chase is the most fun — but the first time having sex is probably the second best thing!
And i want to know if people really think that having sex can get them “Closer to god” — or if they were just thinking of the Nine Inch Nails song “Closer“
I didn’t know Tierney wrote for Science Times
None of your, anybody’s, business.
I just remembered I have to be more progressive. Sometimes it’s a wonderful thing
This was a surprise?
“but even he did not expect to find such varied and Machiavellian reasons for sex”
When I am surfing I do not need as much sex, there you go.
I live in Ohio this summer.
You know what I am doing.
Goldy: I think an advanced degree is something to consider though.
Doug: One of these days you will surprise me.
John: It’s a little freaky,
The comment you cited is a pretty pessimistic comment on the state of women. I like to think times have moved on…although I’m not naive enough to think they have.
EW: I could give you both a ton of reasons why not but deaf ears and all that.
BabyWL: i hope I make a better first impression there. I really do write serious copy here and often but my regular readers demand silly useless drivel in between.
Janice: I think changing the topic is an excellent reason when you think of it.
zach: If the chase is the most fun why not let it on on forever?
eh most women would probably not agree with your first time having sex is the best answer, but that’s is just a guess here. I’m not most women.
And yes, as a matter of fact the getting closer to god excuse reason I have heard before, several times.
Pia:
Oh Pia you know you are just saving all that for your book ,and do not want to tell me now.
G: I don’t want to hear it.
Machiavellian - I think the reasons for sex have probably always been a little Machiavellian, I think the man just liked the word.
Coop… I have an advance degree… I got it to get laid more.
I meant an advanced degree in ….sex. Most men from what I hear need a lot of work in that area.
I’m reading, just out of the country once again.
For all purposes I come here.
I should have gotten a degree in sex. It might have meant less travel.
I sleep better when I feel closer to God.
To discover God sounds like a lofty goal to lay on sex. I think there would be easier ways to accomplish that goal.
not deaf ears, but look, here I have a grain of salt… Ok so that’s hyperbole. Anyways, you know my situation, so yeah.
Joe: Your always missed.
I sleep better when the sheets are totally new, clean and six hundred thread count Egyptian Cotton.
MoJo: I don’t know, but I’m off today so I’ll try to figure out how to find God without having sex. I have a lot of experience at not having sex, how hard can it be?
EW: I win because I had a million of grains of salt.
‘cuz I like it :)
What is it about psychologists?
Don’t they have anything better to do?
Psychologist and psychiatrists are always so fascinated by sex. It’s as if the world is going to crumble if we don’t know this stuff.
This from a Science Journal a couple of years ago.
Scientists don’t know how sex even got started. But they have long suspected that organisms prefer sex specifically because of the risk. The slight shuffling of genes produced through sexual reproduction may help organisms adapt more easily to a stressful or changing environment, the thinking goes.
I’m going with the “why not’s”.
The sonnet or poem, or whatever it is, makes the post a bit stranger.
Psychology is great :-P I couldn’t believe some of the answers! Not very good reasoning skills I assume ;-)
Carol: I guess that is probably the best reason.
Jake: weren’t you econ/psych?
Joe: I’m not sure people take surveys all that seriously which in some way makes them a real waste of time and resources. If those were serious reasons than you are right there is a reasoning deficit.
Because there is such a thing as being goddamn horny and if I have me my own live-in man then I might as well put him to work and to good use DAMMIT! ;)
Although I kid not…
As for the calorie burning… it surprisingly burns very little, about 40 calories or so I hear so…
I miss you amiga mia and have not forgotten you! Just stuck in the excitement and whirlwind and nonstop activity that comes with being back home and rebuilding our lives from scratch! Besos!!!!!!
I think a lot of people have sex because blogger is down.
Aw, it was kind of interesting.
Tierney’s surprsie that reasons were not based on the attitude of “To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time” was little strange.
Unlike Inde, I blog when sex is down.
MizzyB: I could cry with relief that you are here. I was worried a bout you but know you have moved and are getting settled. Yes, I need to get a live-in man to do some work around here too. ;)
inde and jacob get the good points, both very good answers for bloggers. ;)
huh?
sex?
what is that?
I remember my first time… it was over before it began. And all she could do was giggle.
Well, that’s a good question. Wish I could answer it, but, well…