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Yes I Google myself — this one is for The Pope.

May 11th, 2007 by cooper

Gmail Users are Youn­ger, Richer, Good in Bed — this from Masha­ble and see­ded at a million dif­fe­rent web 2.0 news sites already.

Does the fact I have seve­ral Gmail accounts make me a shoe-in in the bedroom?

The ans­wer is no, they lied as sta­ted further down in the post.

“soli­tary Gmail users are much more likely to Goo­gle themselves.”

Having seve­ral Gmail accounts I can attest to that fact.

What ?

There’s something wrong with self Googling?

Well maybe, at least accor­ding to the Pope — currently on a mis­sion in Bra­zil. The pope is not paying too much atten­tion to all the self Goo­gling though because he is tac­kling abor­tion, family values and the media — pro­mo­ting vir­gi­nity until marriage, and all that good stuff. I guess a little self Goo­gling is just not sig­ni­fi­cant in the scheme of things.

Wan­ting to stop the recent wave of sup­port and legis­la­tion in favor of abor­tion, which star­ted in Italy — Por­tu­gal and recently hea­ded in to Mexico City, the Pope hea­ded to the most hea­vily Catho­lic country in the world to pro­mote family values and rein­force the Church’s stance against to abortion.

Bra­zi­lian acti­vists saying that giving women the choice-legally is the only way to pre­vent the count­less deaths of some women, have been pushing for the dec­ri­mi­na­li­za­tion of abor­tion legis­la­tion in this the most hea­vily Catho­lic country in the world.

The Pre­si­dent of Bra­zil him­self at one time said he regar­ded “dec­ri­mi­na­li­zing abor­tion as a public health issue and the choice about moral con­cerns should be left to those directly invol­ved”, but as of a cou­ple of days ago it appears he is oppo­sing lega­li­za­tion of abor­tion — this accor­ding to EWTN.

So, will they con­ti­nue to die in the back streets of Brazil?

We’ll see, the health minis­ter of Bra­zil has sta­ted he does not want the church inter­fe­ring with his coun­tries abor­tion debate. There is no doubt a sig­ni­fi­cant health cri­sis in Bra­zil in rela­tionship to back street abor­tions. Bra­zil, although seventy-four per­cent Catho­lic, has legal pros­ti­tu­tion, a govern­ment which pas­ses out birth con­trol to it’s peo­ple and accor­ding to some sur­veys has a country full of resi­dents tou­ting mul­ti­ple sex partners.

What ama­zes me, ( something I haven’t been able to to wrap my head around ever since I deci­ded I was no lon­ger Catho­lic, back in high school ), is that that the Pope ( and this one no where nears as cha­ris­ma­tic as the last) drew huge crowds, many whom when inter­vie­wed sta­ted outright that the church must be fle­xi­ble, most admit to not asc­ri­bing to the vir­gi­nity before marriage and many espe­cially in Bra­zil admit­ting to having had mul­ti­ple part­ners. Yet these same peo­ple gather around to see this man and for some rea­son des­pite the overt hypoc­risy of the Catho­lic Church they still have that need for for this religion.

It bog­gles my mind so much at times that my head hurts.

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23 Responses to “Yes I Google myself — this one is for The Pope.”

  1. jacobNo Gravatar says:

    I stop­ped being Catho­lic when I unders­tood what it really meant. I was little older than you. I’m slow.

    Your metapho­ric tran­si­tio­ning from mas­tur­ba­tion into a story about the pope was excellent.

    Lunch break tur­ned after­noon delight.

    Spea­king of after­noon delight, your play list is full of some old stuff I have not lis­te­ned to in a long time and some things I had never heard. I’m willing to check it out more often.

    “Bad­fin­ger” got to me. ;)

  2. johnmNo Gravatar says:

    I always feel like I have to qua­lify something, coming from a family of priests and all.

    I agree on the hypoc­risy but who knows what it is each indi­vi­dual needs to get through the day.

    Bra­zil is not a prime exam­ple because they are noto­rious in the ways of sexual beha­vior as com­pa­red to Por­tu­gal or even Italy.

    Peo­ple want to do what they want and still believe in something.
    They don’t want to die because of it either but only a cer­tain type of death con­cerns the Catho­lic Church.

  3. piaNo Gravatar says:

    I’m not Catho­lic but all my friends are lap­sed ones, if that counts, and I’m half-Catholic by birth

    If I had belie­ved in God I would have stop­ped in high school – all those sum­mers in Mexico. I believe the Igle­sia de Santo Domingo in Oaxaca took 400 years to build com­ple­tely and many many “sla­ves” were killed

    every church in every moun­tain village would have boxes where the poo­rest of the poor would put in too much of their earnings.

    It felt very hypoc­ri­ti­cal then and still does

    I have mul­ti­ple Gmail accounts I Goo­gle myself, does that make me youn­ger than I thought?

  4. I like the term ego search. Mine tend to be sort of boring; maybe I should do more things that cause peo­ple to have opi­nions about me.

    The pope would tell you that the peo­ple dying in Bra­zil are not vic­tims of infle­xi­ble reli­gious or legal doc­trine but rather that it’s because you Goo­gle your­self at night (oh by the way do you know that the peo­ple at Goo­gle dis­like the use of Goo­gle as a tran­si­tive verb? odd).

    Going to a Catho­lic high school was what tur­ned me off to Catho­li­cism imme­dia­tely, as fan­tas­tic as those Jesuits are as edu­ca­tors. What faith I had jum­ped the shark when my fresh­man theo­logy teacher taught us about papal infallibility.

  5. caseyNo Gravatar says:

    I know you often post metapho­ri­cally, there is even a online post someone wrote about you some time ago which says so. I don’t always get the metaphors, at least not pic­king up on them until I read the com­ments of others. This is why I usually wait until there are a few com­ments ahead of me.

    This is one time I abso­lu­tely and without a doubt knew what you were tal­king about. What does that say about me?

    I come from a family with six chil­dren. Think we’re Catholic?

    I haven’t gone to church in at least three years but prior to college I still went to church des­pite not falling for any of the doc­trine. I don’t know why.

    I won­der if the visit of The Pope chan­ged the mind of the pre­si­dent of Bra­zil? From what I read he was in favor of let­ting the women make the choice. That was pre­vious to the Pope’s arrival.

  6. cooperNo Gravatar says:

    jacob: ha, ha, “metapho­ric tran­si­tio­ning” a term usually reser­ved for the wombat.….I am impres­sed.
    i always thought after­noon delight was something else but now that you men­tion it…

    If you want it and all that jazz.

    johnm: You never qua­lify anything you just want to write a long com­ment. You know it just always puzz­led me. I mean for peo­ple who have a brain it seems a little.….primitive.

    Pia: I’m not sure at what age one has to stop Goo­gling one­self.
    Is there a book that tells us that?

    EW: I wasn’t really taking about goo­gling but what I was tal­king about should cer­tainly get peo­ple tal­king if you wrote about it.

    So much for Catho­lic high schools.

    Casey: So in other words you cheat??

    You are right, from what I read prior to the visit he was all for it. I’m going to follow this.

  7. {illyria}No Gravatar says:

    a lot of peo­ple will subsc­ribe to anything that makes them feel bet­ter at night. i rea­li­zed my incom­pa­ti­bi­lity with my reli­gion late in college, and it’s still a won­der how i ever went through all those years living a lie, basically.

    i’ve mis­sed you, mis­sed you, mis­sed you! life has been mean to me (work sucks) but i bitch-slapped it back. :)

  8. The girl against por­no­graphy, but for abor­tion and bac­king up birth con­trol, against Duke Lac­rosse pla­yers but for “self googling”?

    How can that be?

  9. cooperNo Gravatar says:

    illy­ria: I am glad you bitch-slapped it back the world needs a good bitch slap every so often. I will come tomo­rrow and wallow in your won­ders and if I keep goo­gling myself I may cum as well. Who knows.

    I’m pain­ted out and must go to bed.

    Hugs to the best bitch slap­per this side of Norway.

    Randy: Eat your heart out, I’m a little tired of being nice to you. In kee­ping with my rule always to be civil I thank you for stop­ping by.

    I am still going to use you as a prime exam­ple in my future por­no­graphy post, so feel free to stop back.

  10. The thing about virginity…I believe it should be saved for the one you marry. Pro­blem is, nobody gets married when they’re 15 any­more. Yes, that was when I goo­gled with a girl for the first time.

    The human male is quite lite­rally a f#cking ani­mal in his late teens.

    Why should it be saved til marriage? Because if you TRULY love your first-you never-ever get over them. I had dreams about her for at least a decade after we par­ted ways where I was stan­ding at her doors­tep apo­lo­gi­zing for my imma­tu­rity during our rela­tionship. (If you didn’t love your first-that is too bad too because you mis­sed out on a won­der­ful emo­tio­nal high-my opinion).

    The second to last time I ever tal­ked (it was 14 years since we’d first met) to her she told me she was get­ting married (I was dating the girl who’d become my wife too at the time) and she said, “Funny thing, Dan, I always thought we’d get married.”

    Its sad really. I’m always jea­lous of married cou­ples who were high school sweethearts. They figu­red out life long before I ever did.

  11. kellypeaNo Gravatar says:

    Suf­fice it to say that Catho­li­cism is shit. My step­father brought it to my family, I was lulled by all those peo­ple in black garb hiding behind screens who lis­te­ned to my sec­rets, and then the stu­pid jerk sub­jec­ted me to his dis­gus­ting inter­lo­ping fin­gers — unin­vi­ted. So, catho­li­cism to me repre­sents per­ver­ted­ness. Who cares about the guy in the white suit that isn’t as char­ming as the last? And when are peo­ple going to get over men who run govern­ments that tell women what to do with their bodies? The whole thing makes me tired. I’d rather laugh at mea­nin­gless things.

  12. Knew you weren’t, but honestly I’m sick of Catho­li­cism. I’m sick of tal­king about it, hea­ring about it, and sha­ring a pla­net with it. I’m sick of peo­ple I love spou­ting its bullshit and rebu­king me if I call them on it. I’m sick of honest cri­ti­ques about the things about it that are fuc­ked up being labe­led as bigotry. And the hell I’m sick of that old man and his big hat.

    Randy, why don’t you create a chart com­pri­sed of all the opi­nions one could hold, with lines and arrows con­nec­ting the ones that are accep­ta­ble to hold in con­junc­tion with one another, and post it on the inter­net, dec­la­ring that those who vio­late your thought map are wrong. And you can watch as ever­yone who stops by to read it tells you to eat shit and die.

  13. Ev NucciNo Gravatar says:

    Well that has been the most inte­llec­tually sti­mu­la­ting group of com­ments I have read about something that really makes me crazy in a long time. What I find fas­ci­na­ting is nobody said anything about the Catho­lic Church’s sanc­tity of pedophi­lia in Ame­rica. Priests are sac­ro­sanct. Who cares if they rape little boys? And why should the Pope hold them accoun­ta­ble? At then end of the day its about money and power isn’t it?

    So go back in his­tory. What orga­ni­za­tion has cau­sed more hei­nous cri­mes over the last 2000 years?

    I’ve taught my chil­dren our rela­tionship is with God. All orga­ni­zed reli­gion is man made and has cau­sed war and hate on earth. I have to tell you I was rai­sed Catho­lic and the way the last Pope igno­red the whole pedophi­lia issue, I have had the most dif­fi­cult time even step­ping into a church. It is hypoc­risy at its best!

  14. Ev NucciNo Gravatar says:

    By the way, my oldest went to a Jesuit high school, he’s a Colum­bia now. My middle son is still at the Jesuit high school. The fact of the mat­ter is its the best frea­king high school in the area. It was my oldest son’s dream to go there. It’s an all boy’s school…run by the Jesuits. The beau­ti­ful thing about the Jesuits is their mantra…“men for others”. My oldest two boys went to a parochial school.

    Though I do not subsc­ribe to “orga­ni­zed reli­gion” as others do. What I do subsc­ribe to, was an envi­ron­ment that simply rein­for­ced my values. When it became evi­dent that those value were not con­sis­tent my son’s treat­ment in 7th and 8th grade, we pulled my middle son out of the parochial school and put him into public school. That was by his request. Just in case Randy checks me out.

  15. joegNo Gravatar says:

    Self Goo­gling to Catho­li­cism. Nice tran­si­tion from the mas­tur­ba­tion metaphor to the pope. Like those above me have already com­men­ted upon.

    I feel almost guilty when brin­ging up the sanc­tio­ning of all that little boy moles­ta­tion by the powers that be in the Catho­lic church — by igno­ring and hiding it.… for oh what was it…years?????

    Only a Catho­lic would feel guilty for that.

    If peo­ple could not see the hypoc­risy before all that mess how they could not after is beyond me.

    I believe in something. The only dif­fe­rence is that I prac­tice what I preach.

    Thank you again miss cooper.

  16. Oh no doubts. The fact that abu­sive priests were sys­te­ma­ti­cally moved from dio­cese to dio­cese so long as the cases were never made public, and the wides­pread use of said prac­tice, impli­ca­tes the Vati­can if not spe­ci­fi­cally the Pope who they are now so intent to put on the fast track to canonization.

    And the one pro­gres­sive thing that the new guy see­med to be invol­ved in, the pos­si­bi­lity of con­doms being seen as accep­ta­ble to stop the spread of HIV? Nothing has been heard about that since it was announ­ced that they were loo­king into it

  17. cooperNo Gravatar says:

    Danny: The not get­ting married at fif­teen any­more is a good thing don’t you think? And to be honest, I know I maybe should tell you this as you have a daugh­ter is that the human female is not all that far behind. This is why I am all for a more healthy atti­tude about sex and com­plete expla­na­tion of the hazards, open dis­cus­sion. That and teaching them to res­pect them­sel­ves and others will not pre­vent them from having sex but it will for the most part at least with girls — you have a daugh­ter right — help ensure that when they do have sex they will be bet­ter pre­pa­red for it and leave that expe­rience with no regrets and with self esteem still instant.

    kelly­pea: That is a horri­ble story and horri­ble for you.
    I couldn’t agree more though. I’m not a big pro­po­nent of men telling women to do anything.

    EW: get­ting up early does not agree with you but as you are my great defen­der I can only say I hope you have much coffee.

    The ” old man in the big hat”. I like that.

    Ev Nucci: I have very smart rea­ders which is why I’m still here. If I had to pass over “nice post” com­ments fif­teen times a day I’d be long gone. I had to dig hard for them but.…
    I have done that argu­ment before and that is a very frus­tra­ting part, I remem­ber I was wri­ting at a long defunct live/dead jour­nal when I pos­ted something about the Pope, he had just died and I made a dero­ga­tory sta­te­ment about the arch­bishop from Bos­ton who had been pro­vo­ca­teur of the great cover-up off all the pedophi­lia and been gran­ted cen­sure at the Vati­can…
    It didn’t go over well because it see­med peo­ple just could see past it all. I think it is hard for peo­ple to face their was­ted beliefs.

    It also pains me to see peo­ple always assu­ming mora­lity and reli­gion are the same thing or you must have one to have the other. The most morally intact peo­ple I know are at best agnostic.

    Randy is a slightly mad troll who came by a year ago to com­plain that I was trea­ting some wild fra­ter­nity boys badly by calling them pig­gish and he shows up here whe­ne­ver he has something to disa­gree with.

    Joe: exactly mr joe and you’re welcome.

    ew: I did read something about that issue being dis­cus­ses in Bra­zil, pro­bably along clo­sed doors as the Pope was twis­ting the arm of the pre­si­dent of Bra­zil in order to con­vince him not to push for that free­dom of choice legislation.

  18. sauerkrautNo Gravatar says:

    Good lord, where to start, where to start.

    I am Catho­lic and damn proud to say so. Dam­ned for being so, too.

    I go to mass maybe twice a year. Half as often as I go to the fum­mie church with the rest of the clan.

    I, like all Catho­lics am/are human. As are the rest of the stin­king human mas­ses on this pla­net. I am disaf­fec­ted but refuse to turn pro­tes­tant because they are just as dis­func­tio­nal as us Catho­lics. Take Tammy Fae as an example.

    I con­si­de­red going Mor­mon, but I can­not find enough willing women to make a pro­per Mor­mon family.

    I had an uncle who was a Jesuit for some 60 years. “Had” because he’s now dead. Had he met nasty dude Geoghan, he likely would have kic­ked that pedophi­lic goo­gler in the nuts. Jac­kas­ses like Geoghan have pla­ced nearly every per­son of the clothe into the unfair guilt-by-association dicho­tomy. How to speak out about the abu­ses and keep quiet at the same time must be one tough way to live.

    I’ve star­ted too many of these para­graphs with the word “I.” And I now have this won­der­ful vision of you self-googling. Please send the video ASAP.

    meow.

  19. coyotemikeNo Gravatar says:

    Like many others, I was rai­sed catho­lic. I was even an alter boy (no, nothing bad hap­pe­ned to me. Our priest was actually a good guy). But, as I grew older, I kept having more ques­tions than answers.

    It is ama­zing how many catho­lics engage in “Pope-Worship.” I have an aunt like that (she also thinks very highly of James Dob­son). They believe in the idea of papal infa­lli­bi­lity, and that the car­di­nals really have a name whis­pe­red in their ears when it comes time to elect the next Pope. She gets mad when I start tal­king about the poli­tics of papal elections.

    Appa­rently Randy is one of those folks who thinks if a per­son is of one par­ti­cu­lar opi­nion on one par­ti­cu­lar sub­ject, they must share all the opi­nons of ever­yone who agrees on that ini­tial opi­nion (wow, that is a really lengthy way of saying he’s a troll). If that were true, there would only be two peo­ple on earth, as all the rest would be car­bon copies.

  20. GNo Gravatar says:

    I was bap­ti­zed in a Catho­lic church but my mother wouldn’t let me go to first recon­ci­lia­tion, she thought it ridi­cu­lous for second gra­der to be con­fes­sing. She was not Catho­lic and had been brought up in libe­ral New England Con­gre­ga­tio­nal Uni­ted Church of Christ.

    I was allo­wed to take first com­mu­nion because our church did not make kids do the recon­ci­lia­tion first if the parents did not want them to, that has chan­ged again they have to take it before com­mu­nion now. I never got con­fir­med because I did not want to. I objec­ted and my mother agreed.

    I believe in a higher power.

    Do the right thing.

    Reli­gion — war — poli­tics — money — death — hate.

    You have freed the world to self gog­gle. If you’re doing it ever­yone will want to. The world will never be the same.

    You trend set­ter you.

  21. LeighNo Gravatar says:

    I could never con­form to any orga­ni­zed reli­gion although I was brought up Catho­lic. My beliefs revolve around the tides and swells.

    I won­der what I was like in bed before I had my gmail acct… thank God for google ;)

  22. DougNo Gravatar says:

    Goo­gling your­self is just good birth control.

    I actually read about half of the Pope’s speech. Well, maybe 1/3. It was long, but it wasn’t about abor­tion. He said what he said about that but mostly it was mosstly not about abortion.

  23. cooperNo Gravatar says:

    saur­kraut: I don’t know how to res­pond to that except “meow”.

    I’m proudly ex– catho­lic. That is about all I can say on the subject.

    I thought Tammy Fae was dead and that type of reli­gion is it’s own ballgame.

    coyote: A lot of ex catho­lics around. I seem to draw them to me like one of those sticky gross fly catcher things.

    G: I always loved your mother, so sen­si­ble.
    Trend set­ter I am, yay.

    Leigh: I’m just glad I was born in the time of goo­gle. What peo­ple did before I will never know.

    Doug: Not is was about get­ting back to the time , where no one fucks until the woman is hap­pily tied to her jai­ler fore­ver under the guise of decency and family values.
    I find it all funny, men run­ning the lives of women again and all that pageantry? Have we not got­ten past it all?

    I’m off to lunch with my mother. A mother who hap­pe­ned to sur­prise me last eve­ning by sho­wing up and telling me she was sta­ying with me for the night ins­tead of sta­ying elsewhere as ori­gi­nally plan­ned.
    I mean I spent all night goo­gling, and with my mother in the next room.
    How shoc­king is that?

    Seriously though there is nothing worse than having your mother behind you while you are doing your usual rounds of cyberspace.