Email to me from friend:
“How about you start a blog for me?
I want one they look like fun, and I realize now that they can be informative and fun at the same time.
DJ and LJ blow.
I am not interested in the actual work it would take to put one up though so how about it?
You plan it out for me and start it and then I take over?
Something similar to yours but lighter.
If it has to be one of the “ready mades” I could do that. I’d just want a few adjustments.
I have a lot to say and it’s time I say it.
Thanks Coo coo
Get back to me before next year. ”
Email from me to friend:
“I would love to help you out.
After all I have only two blogs of my own to maintain.
A series of posts poorly formatted, due to transfer, to repair.
Two jobs.
Four old books I’m trying to read for enjoyment
The Gospel of Judas
American Theocracy
My Body Politic
In Cold Blood ( yes again)
All while trying to” Find a Lover Who Won’t Drive me Crazy”.
P.S.
Please do not refer to me as Coo again. You are not a good enough friend to be allowed that privilege. As a matter of fact I have no friends good enough for that privilege. I’m not a fucking pigeon.
Love ” Coo ”
This struck me a funny. In a sick funny way. Duke University Lacrosse team reinstated after counseling. “DURHAM, N.C. -
Duke University’s men’s lacrosse team has been reinstated after team members found to be deficient in language arts successfully completed mandatory counseling, said university president, Richard Brodhead, yesterday. Mr. Brodhead ordered the counseling two months ago after an e-mail written by sophomore team member Ryan McFadyen, 19, of Mendham, N.J., had been made public.
Mr. McFadyen’s e-mail was written early in the morning of March 14, shortly after three white players on the Duke lacrosse team had sexually assaulted a black exotic dancer/student at an off-campus party, according to an affidavit filed by the dancer/student.
“tommrow night, after tonights show, ive decided to have some strippers over to edens 2c,” wrote Mr. McFadyen. “all are welcome. however there will be no nudity. I plan on killing the bitches as soon as the walk in and proceding to cut their skin off…”
Upon learning of Mr. McFadyen’s e-mail, President Brodhead declared: “Such vile disregard for the canons of good usage reflects poorly not only on our athletic program but also on the university as a whole. Mr. McFadyen’s cavalier disregard for the use of capital letters, his apparent unfamiliarity with the proper function of apostrophes, and his use of however to begin a sentence are inexcusable.”
A source close to the university said that e-mail correspondence found on the hard drive of Mr. McFadyen’s computer suggested he was not the only member of the lacrosse team whose language arts skills belied Duke’s reputation as an elite institution of higher learning.
“Students consistently wrote alot instead of a lot,” said the source. “Many of them put periods and commas outside quotation marks, and they appeared to be woefully unfamiliar with the past perfect tense.”
What made those developments especially troubling to Duke officials was the fact that Mr. McFadyen, a 6-foot-6, 225-pound sophomore, was at the time an Atlantic Coast Conference honor roll player.”
I have a distinctly different type of counseling in mind when I think of the Duke Lacrosse team, as I’m sure you all do as well.
Anyway, who doesn’t write “alot” online raise there hand. If you don’t raise your hand you are a liar I don’t care how many PhD’s you have behind your name.
My Life.….….….….….….….…..or at least some of it follows.
I have a high school grad party to attend Friday.
This sounds like a lightweight thing to have to do but.….….……
It’s an affair given my by uncle a man who is technically my ex– uncle as he is divorced from my biological aunt, is remarried, and lives in Miami with his new wife. He is Cuban and decided at some point that marrying another Cuban would be preferable, so Friday I will meet, for the first time, the wicked stepmother to two of my cousins. My aunt and the new stepmother have never met, and she (the new wife) is bringing a ton of her family all up from Miami for this party.
Word has it the stepmother is very persnickety, and never having had children she actually expects them to keep their rooms clean when they are in Miami. She also has already involved herself deep into the “search for appropriate higher education” for my younger cousin who happens to be entering her senior year of high school this year; this, as you can imagine, has annoyed some people.
Our family is required to attend this event en masse for emotional support.
I am not sure why my uncle did not just have the party in Miami because our family lives all over the world, having a tendency to wander and marry people from all over as they do, ( except Texas and Kansas never Texas and Kansas), would have traveled there just as easily, but instead he is having it here.
I get to be a witness. Yeah me.
My uncle’s, (I still call him tio due to not being able to erase fifteen years of uncle ness), immediate family lives here in Maryland. His sister is a professor of Spanish at a college here, does not like the new wife and may not even attend, but will instead be represented by her daughter, whom I will call V, and her son who I will call R. V is a beautiful women, she just recently moved back down here from NYC, and is staying with ta ta.(ta ta is the abuelo of my cousins and I have come to know him well over the years and call him ta ta just because it is what we call the grandfathers).
Ta Ta has lived here since leaving Cuba during the revolution, coming here after gaining citizenship in El Salvador and then getting some kind of diplomatic position having to due with the foreign exchange. He lives here and seems to prefer my aunt over the new wife. He is also having issues with both my uncle and his daughter ‚“the professor”,as he now has a younger girlfriend; his wife died many years back, and the children feel the girlfriend is after his money. Ta ta was always, from what I hear, quite a womanizer and we won’t even go into the Cuban culture and their view on women except to say that there is quite a distinction between the women you marry and the women you have sex for fun with.….see it is complicated.
V, the professor’s daughter, lived in NYC and happened to be across from the WTT’s when they were hit; she saw bodies falling from the buildings. There the frantic searching for her as she was unable to get in contact with anyone for a day.… She is always interesting as after college she bartended for a year and we heard endless arguments between her and her mother, usually in rapid Spanish, about her love of bartending and how it was not a respectful job after four years of college until she finally took off for that job in NYC.
I’m pretty sure the day of the towers were hit and her mother couldn’t locate her she was wishing like hell she had not complained so much about her tending a bar in central Maryland.
So this Friday I get out the black linen dress and head to this little event with nothing but curiosity.
We have many of these events in our family on both sides of the equation. Our family is a bit of a mutant clan, we tend to gather and keep people, disregarding divorces and break-ups and negative biological connections. We tend keep people around forever unless we don’t like them for some ethical reason. So, if you have been in our family for any length of time, I’ve never been sure what that length of time is, unfortunately you become part of the clan and no matter where you end up be it India, Japan, Italy or New England you will eventually meet up with us once again, yet again and forever one way or another despite it all.
A quick apology to those of you who are ending up in the dumpster with the xanax, cheap viagra and the awesome airfares. The spam filter is playing sick mind games with me and sometimes it wins.
Oh where to start. Promise never to call you Coo – never occurred to me actually – have enough trouble with Coop, but that’s just me – not really a nickname person
My family picks up strays – had an uncle for 25 years – my aunt my mom’s youngest sister – hippie Budhist left to find herself when one daughter had just graduated high school and the other was still in it – so yes I’ll keep him. Married a very nice woman who has a farmhouse in Avon Ct that’s been in her family since the 17th century – so now we’re officially sorta WASP
On the other side of the family – really needed the family tree at the reunion as there were so many remariages, exes who stayed family, etc – do have cousins who graduated from Duke – would love to know what they think — but that’s the side of the family where I met my cousin, the cop, who broke the blue wall of silence in the Abner Louima case
They keep on having to promote him — but is on permanent assignment in the Rockaways – already got an MBA and is working on his law degree
Both sides of my family tend to be passionate and cause oriented – though it’s lessened with generations – except for my cousin the cop – who truly did something great – we’ve never had a cop before so it’s exciting – and weren’t allowed to meet him when he was young – because of things I would have said once – but now that my family does know about my blog and some do read it – and follow the links – and would definetely come here – won’t say
Oh yes, I’m the other impassioned person under 75
In Cold Blood – have read it at least 20 times – just lent the anniversary issue out for the first time – made my friend take a solomn oath to give it back otherwise I will find Robert Blake – who my mother always thought was innocent because he was so nice on Barretta (I think – something with a parrot)
This is probably the longest comment I have ever left anywhere – it’s raining and blogger is down – don’t know why I added that but.…
Come to think of it, I have been meaning to start a blog for some time and could use a little help too Coo. ;)
errr and hiring strippers and doing whatever the hell they did, and they did something I’m certain of that is less of an affront?
I’m not surprised you have an, as you call it,
“mutant” family. I can tell by your writing that you do not come from a family that sets limits in the number or type of people they allow into the fold. Makes for some crazy times I bet.
Change that fro to for when you read this. I can’t edit my own comments.
ha ha, who was that?
I actually thought about printing this post and taking it to the bathroom while I did my business it was so long.
Yeah for the return of the Cuban Uncle.
That “find a lover who won’t drive me crazy stuff” — it’s not gonna happen — everything drives you crazy.
Not sure if I should comment on the Duke thing or not. It’s gotta be a joke. Otherwise the whole of Duke admin should be fired, en masse.
I have an Aunt and Uncle going through a divorce right now, but I know that she’s still gonna be my Aunt forevermore. 30+ years of marriage means she’s family, even if not by name anymore.
family is weird and cubans are definately womanizer’s i used to date one only to find out after a year that he had another girl friend the whole time. he just moved to miami though and im doing my best to keep him there for the vacationing benefits, i mean its the least he can do.…but i wonder was i playing the wife or the sex for fun role? and who would dare call you “coo” definately not ok. most nicknames arent.
I wouldn’t want you to start a blog for me because then that would involve my actually having to write something important just to live up to your example.
Hmmm, maybe I’d have you start out with something smaller. How about you start a greeting card for me, Miss Cooper?
Good morning Ms . Cooper,
That ok. I like your blog alot! Have fun? at the family shinding, always interesting, family affairs. I am so pissed off at Duke and the way people see nothing wrong with the whole situation.
Thanks for the kind words at Kyahgirl about my poem. Speaking of poems, thanks for introducing me to Stephanie’s poem. I am going to link to her and to you on Friday’s post. Stop by if you have the time.
With the deepest respect, Brian aka hummingbunny
LOL on Duke. I wouldn’t put it past old Dick.
Good luck with your party.
Alice -
Let’s see if I get chucked out with the CIiAqlIsz. :)
Interesting to follow your thread on the Duke lacrosse thing. It’s merely a microcosm of what goes on in intercollegiate sports across the board. Mr. Mcwhatzisname’s email looks positively literate next to those of your average offensive lineman or power forward.
The problem is, each and every one of these athletes is an advertising placard for the university, worth more to the endowment coffers than any 15 Nobel Prize winners. It’s no surprise that they and only they get scholarships independent of the financial status of their families, that they and only they gain entry independent of their academic records, that their coaches and only their coaches make salaries remotely commensurate with what their jobs would command outside the hallowed halls.
The original Olympics had the same problem: worship of their athletes. It finally got so bad, they had to stop staging Olympic Games. Only US universities have athletic programs that are so divorced from the academics. And every time somebody watches a bowl game or March Madness or women’s softball on ESPN, we’re voting for this system. The way to stop it is to empty the Rose Bowl. This will probably close a lot of universities. Which is fine with me. Perhaps that will mean that the Bachelor’s degree will actually signify that the recipient can read, write and do arithmetic.
Good luck with the family reunion. Have you considered writing scripts for soap operas? :)
Duke is an Ivy-league school after all. We wouldn’t want people to
think that just any spoiled, rich wanker could get in… :O
As for blogging, I kind of had the opposite assessment. My blog, which
I started, is severely lacking for quality content. Maybe you’d prefer
to take over an existing blog? Eh? How about it? Finish it up? Tie up
all the loose ends I’ve left?
No? Damn pigeons.
Hmmmm… never thought to call you “Coo”… think I’ll stick with Cooper or Alice…
or really whatever your little heart desires for me to call you…
LOL! I wonder if you are apart of my ex’s family… they still have not let
me go… no matter how hard I try they find me and keeps me up to date on their
family events… even wanting me and my hubby to join them in family reunions…
Kind of weird… :)
How long have I been in the family? That was a fun post. Tia’s will trifle.
I get where they are coming from. I’m not interested in the “actual work” either.
If I can post twice a week I am way ahead of schedule and every time I try to change the template it disappears.
I finally gave up and started using blogrolling. That is as creative as I get. Ready Made’s are my life.
That Duke thing again is funny as you say too many things that are just stupid in regard to this case. Parodies and ironies whether we are looking for them or not.
Have a good graduation party, you do have an interesting family it goes in all directions.
Nice email.
I was looking at different blogs the other day and found one; it was supposedly a blog of a Duke student who was extremely embarrassed by the actions of the lacrosse team. It was kind of funny at the same time. I can’t remember where it is because I didn’t mark it but if I come upon it again I will pass it on.
That is a sad testament if it too is not a joke.
I liked your poem below.
Have a good family party. My family is very small and I wish it were larger.
hi there cooper.
thanks for the links!
and i know how you feel about spam… fools me near to every time as well.
–stephanie