March 8th, 2006
Sexism is Alive and Well
Overloaded this week so I almost, not quite but almost, forgot. It is blog against sexism day. I’m sure if you go here and check out the links you will find some great stuff.
I’m taking a lighter note here if I manage to make any sense so much the better. It is one of those things you could write volumes on and with South Dakota pulling that ridiculous rabbit out of a hat and with Tennessee following Alabama in an attempt to outlaw genital stimulating sex toys, ( noticeably sex toys used by women not by men). Link stolen for Jet’s BIO post 3-D Glasses .
I think we all need to take a look at what is the truth. The truth is that the people who are torturing human beings in illegal prisons, playing war in Iraq due to some disingenuous ploy for oil control thereby causing thousands of deaths; those who would take away the women’s right to make choices about her own body due to their belief that life is scared but have no qualms about the death sentence or the killing of innocent children in times of war, if they just happen to be in the way, are the same as those who would make sex toys illegal.
We have come only so far, and now it seems we are headed backward. The slide is frightening. It is obvious to me that sexism is still rampant. I can’t imagine why men are so afraid, but this is surely a fear factor entering here.
To give women the power to please themselves takes away the power of a man to please her and makes it clearer that man can’t please her to the degree his self inflated ego would like to think; it lowers his level of power over her.
The fact of it is that women have always had power over men sexually, and I think deep down inside men resent this; some men very seriously and pathologically hate it. Why do you think so often men take advantage of women when they are drunk, asleep or in some other way not completely in control of their senses? It is the only time they feel power.
Now I have not been around the block too often, have not been eaten up and spit out or anything close so you may find this a simple blabber of an ingenue, but believe me it is not.
Fact: Men often look at a woman walking down the street or a woman in a photograph and immediately get surge of testosterone. They can’t help it, it is a biological thing and it happens; rarely do women look at a man either on a photograph or in person and get that same feeling. How often have any of you girls actually looked at a mere picture of a guy and gone ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Gooooooooooooooooood and seriously had the urge to melt in his mouth? Never for most of you I am going to guess; which, is exactly the point. A woman may think nice eyes, nice ass, but seldom anything more; men don’t have that power over us.
You see women are not made that way, women need to know, get to know , find things to admire and respect and then……….maybe that connection occurs that allows her to look at a man and say ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh goooooooooood. It is our ability not to be overwhelmed by the physical that stirs up a significant amount of resentment in a patriarchal society, a society where the man still knows that women have the power to immediately control a man simple by being a women and they don’t have that same power over us. Men have needed, from the very beginning of time, to control women in some other way. The fact is that now most of us can gather our own food and protect ourselves, most can work for a living and go to college and do the exact same things a man can do. We no longer need men to do the things that used to give them that power; as this becomes apparent more and more laws are enacting in order to put us back in our place.
Yup sexism is here girls, I think you need to start paying a little more attention to it, don’t for instance, allow them to put you on the cover of Vanity Fair naked while the guy gets to wear clothes.
Our own beloved Indie has had a post excepted at the Carnival of Feminists # 10 .
Read his post Indeterminacy Girls here.
loved that post. i think you are right too. banning sex toys is ludicrous and one of the stupidest things i have heard. even walmart sells them now!
You are absolutely right. The power of a woman is intimidating and trying to get around it is a temptation. Still, I hadn’t heard of the anti-sex-toy legislation. Give me a break. I am so going looking for married women in those states.
Admit it, though. My floppy ears make you say “OOOOOOOH GOOOOOOD!”
One of your best posts and I can’t say I disagree.
I think you are right in the fact that biologically women have a hold over men that men just will never have over women and maybe that frightens some men and just maybe that causes some of the nonsense in regard to those laws; I had never heard of those before and find the whole thing ridiculous but telling as to what is on the mind of some people and if I were a women I would be furious.
You’re right of course. The power women have over men can be torture, and desires for backlash against it abound. I could go into a rant about how said power over men is flagrantly abused, very often as SOP, but I get the idea this isn’t the time or place.
Anyone who voted on that legislation can take a Ron Jeremy model in their rear entrance so far as I’m concerned. However, it should be noted that there are sex toys designed for male genital stimulation. I’m not sure if the language in the bill is specific to devices used by women, and of course, the existance of sex toys for men doesn’t but I thought I’d make a note.
But really, everyone is hurt by the ban. Get rid of sex toys, and sex shops lose their best selling items, and thus go kaput. And that would suck
I have a subscription to Vanity Fair and when I got my copy I thought the exact same thing you did, “why does he get to keep his clothes on?” Not that I want to see him naked, cause I’ve got much better things to do, but thought that it was a little sexist.
Very good Alice. Sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but in two weeks I start my new job and should have tons more time.
Oh yeah, I forgot. I read about the sex toy law in TN. That’s just crazy. I have a lot of family in TN and yesterday my female cousin called to tell me that she was willing to march on the state capitol to ensure her right to manually stimulate…and she’s hardcore Republican!!
I was in favor of banning dildos until I learned that if you don’t want to have a dildo then you don’t have to buy one :)
That’s a joke of course, but I think symbolizes how people are always so worried about what everyone else is doing.
Excellent explanation with a hint of truth as to why men might wish to hold on to what little power we have - right or wrong; men can’t control the power women have over them so take away their rights to their bodies, then take way sex toys which we all know women use more often than men because unlike a women a man’s hand works well for most of what we need done.
I may have some arguments to pose but overall this was supposed to be a light post and it was quite in your face right on.
You don’t think you’d ever look at a guy and go OHHHH GOODDDD?
Yea you probably wouldn’t.
Hope the end of the week comes sooner.
Your post is excellent - and your conclusions ring true. Am certainly alarmed by these stateside developments.
If they want to ban phallic symbols, how about banning guns?
P.S. Thank you for mentioning my post here. It never would have been written, if I hadn’t have seen your post back then about the Feminist Carnival. I’m really proud that they accepted it in there summary of articles.
It’s like what they say, it sometimes makes you wonder, if so many people believe in this way of life, if you’re not the one who has lost touch with right and wrong. There is an obvious shift in the climate these days and it makes it difficult to have to rally so hard against what seems like an entire country telling you and what you believe is wrong.
But rally we must.
Oooh! Everyone is into the sex toys here! Hear ye, hear ye! Such legislation would not bode well in San Francisco… won’t be considered there thank goodness… SF… home of the legendary Good Vibrations!
Did you know the biggest seller with the largest inventory of sex toys in the world is Amazon ? My writer crush Mark Morford wrote about it once…
Well, so much talk of sex toys and sex is dangerous around bohemians… gives us a craving for the Loverboy! ;)
Forgive me, I am frazzled so I am rambling… I loved your post and my serious comment is over at BIO. Great job chica!
I thought sex toys were already banned in AL! After all, if you got JESUS you don’t need sex toys, as Pansi reminds us.
But you can forget about it anyway, Doug.
I think Mom’s omnipotence during early childhood is also a factor in sexism.
This was an excellent post, Alice.
I’ve always had the same thoughts about men feeling a little threatened now that we don’t need to them to “hunt and gather” for us anymore.
Or at least SOME men.
Here in good ole Kansas, some woman is trying to get Spencer’s taken out of the mall because little Timmy might see an “adult game” while he’s buying his fake poo.
We wouldn’t want that…
:)
So much knowledge in such a young brain.
Excellent post Cooper.
No arguement from this ledge.
zydeco: Walmart? I have never shopped at Walmart but maybe I’ll have to take a look around.
Doug: ohhhhh goooood.
joe: indeed it’s so.
wombat: it’s a different kind of power though and there-in lies the problem.
mj: glad to here it I miss you. Bless your cousin. ;)
dane: and that is why you are my friend where others have failed.
indie: thanks..stateside developmemts..that sound so serious and that was a great piece indie.
mojo: let us rally on then….or move to Prince Edward’s Island.
Mis Bohem: get unfrazzled please. loverboy is probably a better sex toy for you anyway.
weirsdo: yeah they are banned in Alabama. Mom’s omnipotence ….you mean a pathological omnipotence I hope not the perceived omnipotence that just goes without saying. If not we are all in trouble.
What! Wal-Mart sells sex toys?
Sorry. I can’t think.
None of the Wal-marts I have been in sell sex toys!
Oh Cooper you continue to make me proud
Have actually been thinking quite a bit lately, dangerous for me, about how
laugh when men make sex jokes, if they’re not too too crude, because
they can be funny
But they send out the wrong signal. As do other things we do.
That said a woman can dress as provactively as she wants, get a bit
drunk, flirt shamessly and it doesn’t mean that she wants it
Wonder how they’ll handle sex toys sold over the Internet and
distributed by Fed Ex or even the post office? Not a federal crime, yet.
Vanessa: Thanks and I think it is so. Kansas, I can’t say much as I’ve never been there but I kinf of lump them in with ..” The States that should go South”.
jacob: thanks because I am too busy to argue. :0-
Cowgirk: I know nothing of walmart but if I bought sex toys I think I would have to go for the best money could buy.
Pia : do think it makes you fun. I never laugh at sex jokes unless they are truly funny which they rarely are. If men woeren’t stealing our power I might feel sorry for them. ;)
What I see as sexism and the adult toy industry is, there are thousands of choices, while there are hardly any for men. Where’s the justice, man? Where’s the Justice?
That should say, there are thousands of choices for women :p Can’t type.
I have nothing to add, other than damn!
That’s one hell of a post, chica!
just letting you know that some of your writing on your blog is really
hardrd to see. The links mostly, because they’re in brown and the
background is black. Otherwise your blog is great.
coyote: men don’t need them, some women don’t either but that is hardly the point. ;0
jason: I rather liked it myself. Thanks. ;)
kristy: I’m working on it.
OMG… I hadn’t heard about the TN and AL sex toy thing and I live in
TN. So does that mean if I get caught with my sex toy… will I go to
jail? Sex Toy Felony? Charged with Dildo Possession? Obviously our
law makers have to much time on their hands…
I’m so upset right now… just read where TN is trying to pull a SD
regarding abortion!
You are so right… I have always believed that we women are so much
in power in the sex department…
This is a really great post, cooper. Proud of you! ;)
well, if I was a man, I wanted every woman to moan on MY dick and not on silly sex toys. every I mean each AND the ones haven’t been born yet.
oh and Alice… your welcome picture is OHHHHHHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD…….. :-P
Hell if most of the guys I know could please a woman in the first place..
I swear to God, woman, if you move to PEI I would totally join you. PEI, in my warped little brain, really is my idea of heaven.
Of course, you’d have to turn back time to Victorian Age PEI… oh, and bring Miss Sarah Polley with us. Other than that, I’m totally there.
I dunno, or rather I think I do but don’t claim to be an expert.
I think if you ask most mature men if there were a sexy female
sex robot to get off on instead of having to endure hours, days,
months, or perhaps years of “feeling” they be quite content.
I think the whole feminist thing has gone through changes.
Back in the 60’s and 70’s women were fighting to do what men do…Now a days
men have given up and said:” Okay you wanna do all the work,
fine..here, take it PLEASE!!!”
So now women can do whatever men can with the exception of statistics
that still aren’t completely even….
My honest opinion is that whether we’d like to admitt it or not we are
still animal like creatures driven by biological needs inheriant through
years of evolution and each of our own family teachings.
A cute face can do wonders for men, and make them do things
they’d never even consider doing.
I say give the women all the power they want, which means they’ll
be left to argue with themselves…
I’ve seen women in the work place. The women I’d seen fight a lot
and blame everything on each other….
Long time no see.
Sorry I haven’t been around.
Still an old soul in a young body I see.
Those laws are ridiculous.
The various governments in this country are bordering continually on the ridiculous.
but
I think your views are rather harsh, your standards too stringent and your judgments, while not unfounded, often colored by a point of view you are allowed to have due to the fact that you are a fair damsel and can present a picture , when chosen, to cause an oh god of the most haunting variety.
That having been said and despite the fact that you still have not “been around the block too often have not been eaten up and spit out or anything close” I don’t find your rambling ingenuous instead I find it often right on, but for me, dear cooper, somewhat cynical for one so young.
It doesn’t mean I don’t agree it means that I wish you could think of it differently.
Have a great time in Costa Rica.
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