No, I Don’t have a Wooden Heart

Snow­board boots are a little heavy for wal­king around in the city, but I’ve worn them for two days because that is all I had with me. I wasn’t at my dorm and I didn’t feel like going to get my regu­lar boots. Damn my legs hurt.

I shan’t for­get you dear sweet blog­ger peo­ple on Valentine’s Days. My atti­tude about it, as I wrote in my blog last year, only apply when it con­cerns a love or lovers, and as you not my lover or lovers I can wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day. This may seem a little too fru­gal in light of Shayna’s gifts but she is a nice per­son and I am not. I’m a cyni­cal stu­dent living in the city, with a cold, but not woo­den, heart.

Of love I have nothing to say. I have surely had love in my life. love of family, love of friends, and maybe “the other kind” even though, admit­tedly, I have been stingy in that regard to this point in my life. I’m not stingy in gene­ral, but love (to me) is a vague con­cept for which there exists no defi­ni­tion that is firm and sure.

Love is indi­vi­dually defi­ned and remains an obs­cure con­cept to me.

Perhaps when time allows, and inves­ti­ga­tion pro­ceeds, it will mani­fest itself to me in a way which I will unders­tand, and I will be able to say most assuredly…ah yes…I get it now.

I am pretty sure that candy, flo­wers, din­ner or dia­monds will have no role, not even an unders­tudy role, in this reve­la­tion. I have no doubt also that love will not come after a hot sweaty night on satin sheets . Dear Judy you were right I think.

They say:

For it was not into my ear you whis­pe­red, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kis­sed, but my soul.

Tell me Vir­gil dear if you can do you still think love con­quers all?

I can only hope that Erica Jong’s musing were correct .

Love is everything it’s crac­ked up to be. That’s why peo­ple are so cyni­cal about it. It really is worth figh­ting for, being brave for, ris­king everything for. And the trou­ble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more.

They say:

Some­day love will finally be enough.

I say:

Until that time…………it won’t

Until then……………………………….

The heart is a lonely hun­ter after all.

Woo­den Heart

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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23 Comments

  • oh alice… I don’t believe you have a cold heart! :) Under­neath that cyni­cal stu­dent I believe there is a sweet little school girl just aching to get out… right? :)

    Happy v-day my dear! ;)

  • I’m hardly a cele­brant of the holi­day, but if tom­mo­rrow hap­pens to be Valentine’s Day and you hap­pen to be happy, I’m all for it.

    Happy V-Day

    *hugs* and all that.

  • I guess you expect me to say something wise about love. OK. You will find it, just when you least expect it. Follow your intui­tion and ins­tincts and ins­pi­ra­tions, and don’t think of love with any ratio­nal thought. Use synch­ro­ni­city… That pro­bably was kitschier than it was wise. I told you I wasn’t wise.

  • I have nothing wise to say.

    The heart is a lonely hun­ter and some day love will enough until then it isn’t. That says it all really. That is assu­ming that love is something that can be found.
    I have my doubts on this.

    happy day of hearts and flowers

  • My thoughts on love are far too idea­lis­tic and roman­tic to ever come true. For now I’ll have to settle for a mildly amu­sing ver­sion of love rather than the all-encompassingly pas­sio­nate ver­sion I’m searching for.

    And, yes, I totally agree. The heart is a lonely, Miss McCullers.

  • Nothing wise to say either… was in your shoes when I was 20… or should I say boots? Quite cyni­cal yet somewhere deep down hope­ful… hadn’t seen much real love anywhere, always heard the corny, oft-repeated line “when you know, you know” until the mere men­tion of it made me nauseous.

    Then “it” hap­pe­ned to me dam­mit and I did know! WTF? So yeah, in time, when it’s right, love hap­pens, and you’ll know.

    Doesn’t need to be mushy though. The hubby’s my best friend. Some­ti­mes, romance is…

    Me– Say something roman­tic dam­mit! Make it sin­cere and don’t make me puke.
    Him– Oh, how I love your boo­bies!
    Me– You’re such a fuc­ker!
    Him– Well, at least you didn’t call me a cunt this time.
    Me– Asshole!

    And on it goes, all in good fun, but it works for us.

    I don’ know what the point of it all was but hey, Valentine’s day talk has me in a tizzy, fee­lin’ quite dizzy!

    Nope, don’t cele­brate it here! I expect the looo­veee around the clock. Bohe­mians are deman­ding! Wooohooo!

    Have a good one and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do… nope, don’t know what that means either… just living up to my Mizzy Bohem name! Sizzlin’!

  • I’m with you on your old post.
    It’s hard to find love into a busy life and I agree it is something that is not really defi­na­ble. Sit around a bar and talk about it with peo­ple and you will see what I mean.

    Until that time it won’t. That’s about it.

    Like the song. No woo­den heart.

  • Alice you are one of the kin­dest peo­ple I have ever had the pri­ve­lege to be blog­ging friends with, or to know period

    Think that if you found love too early you would always regret what could have been, or might just go out loo­king for more, so.…

  • It’s simply a mat­ter of choice for you and you know that.

    The heart is a large muscle in your chest nothing more; the rest is all in your head. The head that makes the choices.

    Don’t lose the in bet­ween because your not ready for a final act; it is not always so black and white.

    Throw away that film.

    Happy Valentine’s Day Cooper.

    Happy Snow too.

  • Enjoy the dis­count cho­co­late tomorrow.

  • Happy Valentine’s Day to you as well.

    I couldn’t get the file to down­load. It’s pro­bably my com­pu­ter, it never seems to work at the right times.

    The weather here has been so great. Nothing like that of New England or New York City. Today it was 68 degrees and the same is expec­ted for tomo­rrow. Though I wouldn’t mind seeing some real snow for a change.

  • shayna: No????? ;)
    Hope had a great heart day.

    wom­bat: same to you my friends inc­lu­ding the hugs. ;)

    indie: kitschier is good.

    jake: thank you.

    mojo: you are cer­tainly the most idea­lis­ti­cally roma­tic per­son i have come across in cyberps­pace. You ideas exceed anything i ever had even when i was very young. I wish for some of your thoughts at times.

    mizzy bohem: happy day to you and the lova boy.

    coyote: i cer­tainly intend to.

    biz­man thanks.

    pia: your too kind.

    robot­man: happy snow is right.

    mj: i think we were due to some serious snow though.

  • Nah…have to agree with Shayna…no cold heart on the other side of the WON blog. You seem like a really sweet person…cynical, but sweet.

    Love’s not really that hard, just a pain in the ass.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • Happy Valentine’s Day to you too. I think you should be con­gra­tu­la­ted on not cha­sing every love rain­bow that might have come your way. Most of them disap­pear in a sur­pri­singly short time.

  • What’s this? You have a sec­ret love for kitsch? Perhaps I should write you a poem…

  • That’s what you get when you grow up watching ado­les­cent Cana­dian melo­drama and always seem to be pining for women whose flaws never seem to see the light of day until you’re actually with them.

    But it’s mostly due to the ado­les­cent Cana­dian melodrama.

  • Man was I dead tired when I wrote that. The kid had me up most of the night… not going bon­kers on him, now that’s love! ;-P

    I think Pia said it best… I ditto her thoughts… there is a time for everything and when yours comes the cyni­cism will be no pro­blem! Have a beau­ti­ful day everyday!

  • zen­pro: hope your day was happy as well.

    indie: you should.….….….. as I love poems.

    weirsdo: it comes form having too many other things to chase at this time.…..prioritizing is my spe­cialty. I may also be under the false impres­sion that live is not something you chase it is just something that occurs.

    mojo: but you see no women could ever live up to that…leaving you fore­ver disappointed.….…..damn Canadians.

    mizzy bohem: an beau­ti­ful day for all, we can all agree on that.

  • I knew I was doing something wrong. I’m going to delete all my blogs and start a poetry blog.

  • Alice, Happy bela­ted Valen­ti­nes day. For me V-day was tests and papers, then car­ving out some time to actually play with my chil­dren in the sun. I don’t find you to be par­ti­cu­larly cold or cyni­cal in my kno­wing of you… but peo­ple see what they will.
    Love is one of those per­so­nal and ephe­me­ral things. Some­ti­mes love of what you do, where you’re going or what you’re cha­sing, or the love of wis­dom, or know­ledge is enough; For me at times any­way. I have never been a big cele­bra­tor of holi­days in gene­ral, and Valen­ti­nes Day is no excep­tion, although I did get the wife a gift I think she liked (no need to tor­ment others with my own beliefs – though I am guilty at times of this).
    I think the heart is a lonely hun­ter. Maybe there is not love in that, but some­ti­mes I think there is pas­sion in the hunt regard­less of what the prey.

  • indie: you are a poetry blog.

    bell: I know what you mean , mine was prety busy as well much of the same. Nice that yu were able to carve out time to play with your chil­dren in the sun.…very impor­tant in light of all you write about and think about. Passion.…ah …another topic another time.

  • Love.
    A power­ful drug.
    A sin­ful shud­der.
    And a full blast of hea­ven.
    Rock on.

  • Alice: This is lia­ble to go to my head. But it would look great on a t-shirt: “I am a poetry blog” What could peo­ple say to that?